Week 35 – 0 weeks to go?

So I guess I jinxed myself last week with the comment that if it wasn’t for my short-term disability that I would tell BGB to come on and join me, because she called my bluff.  A week that started off very normal, took a turn that we were not expecting.

I had a busy week ahead of me full of training for work, event planning for the weekend, Dr’s appointments, the list went on and on.  I had so much on my to-do list I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to do it all.  Friday was no exception.  The morning started with an appointment with my OBGYN.  Everything was completely normal during my exam.  I was measuring on track and set my appointment for the following week.  Immediately after my appointment I drove over to the Spring of Tampa Bay to drop off some items for their silent auction.  I was on the committee for their Peace Couture Gala taking place on Saturday night.  I had just picked up a car full of gift baskets for the auction in Orlando the night before. 

I headed home for a full day of work.  I had a long to-do list of follow up items that I needed to complete before the weekend along with several conference calls.  I already had planned that I would be spending Sunday afternoon wrapping any additional items up that needed to be completed before Monday morning.  I used my lunch break to run my last minute errands to get ready for the baby shower the next morning.  Oh yea, because not only was I on the committee for the Spring’s Gala event Saturday night, but I was also hosting a baby shower that morning in my home for my best friend.

I finished all my errands and was sitting down at my laptop working on some analysis I was trying to wrap up when I had the urge to use the restroom.  I got up to go pee and headed to sit back down when I got a sensation that I couldn’t control where it felt like I peed myself a little.  I heard that this happens to a lot of women in their 3^rd trimester so I put on a panty liner and went back to the bathroom to see if maybe I misread my body.  Again, it was as if I just chugged a 6 pack with how much I needed to use the restroom.  So I chalked it up to a fluke, I mean, I do drink a crap ton of water everyday, and got back up to go back to work.  But… the sensation happened again.  And again.  After 4 times of feeling like I couldn’t control my bladder I called my OBGYN to describe what happened.  Immediately she told me to head over to St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital to get checked out.  She was pretty sure my water broke and they could test it to make sure.

Well crap, what am I going to do?  It is 4:00, my mom and friends are heading over to decorate for the baby shower in about an hour, Logan is leaving the office any minute to go out of town for the weekend to go camping with his buddies and I have deadlines I am trying to hit for work.  Now I am heading to the hospital instead to get checked out?  Well that put a wrench into my weekend.  So I text message the girls to let them know that I will probably be late to the house so I would leave them a key to get started without me and I called Logan to tell him that he shouldn’t be alarmed but I am going to drive over to the hospital because my water might have broken.

I had no idea what was happening right now.  In my mind, even if my water broke, because I wasn’t feeling any contractions yet, they would check me out and send me home until my contractions were closer.  So worst-case scenario, I wouldn’t be very helpful for the shower but could coordinate until it was time for labor.  That is IF my water broke.  I was joking with my friends about how funny of a story would it be that I peed myself so bad that I thought my water broke.  Talk about an all time pregnancy low.

Obviously, Logan had a little more sense and concern for the situation and told me that I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital and that he was on his way to pick me up.  I told him to just tell the guys that he would catch up with them at the campsite later that night.  I honestly didn’t see my weekend changing yet.  But just in case I went ahead and started packing a bag for the hospital.  This was on my to do list for the next week since I didn’t see any reason to do it more than a month out.  While waiting for Logan to make it home, I’m sitting there on Google looking up various websites to see what the heck I needed to bring with me.

About 30 minutes later, Logan was home and we loaded up the car to head to the hospital.  Side note – I am continuously leaking the whole time.  It is becoming more real that this is my water breaking because I am now walking around with a towel shoved between my legs.  We get in the car to head to the hospital and I am sitting on a stack of towels and cracking up laughing because of how it just doesn’t stop.  But of course my laughing makes it come out even faster. 

We go to the exam room and find out right away that my water did break.  I also found out that what was happening to me was very normal.  I always imagined the Hollywood version of water breaking that there is one big gush of liquid vs. the annoying leaky faucet version I experienced.  The other thing I learned is that when your water breaks, you must have the baby within 24 hours.  So I wasn’t leaving the hospital until this little girl comes whether I like it or not. 

I had all these romantic ideas of labor/delivery that were shattered in minutes.  I had this vision in my head that I would start having contractions at home.  I would start a nice warm bath, light some aromatherapy candles and listen to some soothing music to help me while I waited for them to get close enough to warrant going to the hospital.  Maybe my water would break while I am in the water to make it a lot cleaner.  I would take a nice hot shower, put my hair up in a cute pony tail so that the after birth we will be ready for our awesome celebrity photo where I look fabulous and so does my baby.

Instead, I went to the hospital before I got to take a shower, was required to be induced and experienced ever aspect of the contractions hooked up to monitors in the labor room.  We got off to a little bit of a rough start because they inserted my IV incorrectly.  Three people looked at it and said it looked fine but when they started to administer the penicillin (in case I had any infections we weren’t aware of) my entire arm felt like it was on fire and started swelling up really large.  I thought maybe I was being a baby because of how bad the pain was, but when the nurse saw it, they immediately removed the IV and tried in my other arm instead.  What a world of difference that made.  I still have some sweet bruises on my arm from the bad IV job.

Once the pitocin kicked in, so did the contractions.  They started off very mild, mild to the point that the only reason I knew they were happening was because I could see it on the screen.  So what do all these women complain about?  This is easy.  Or maybe I’m just super woman who has a high tolerance to pain.  After an hour or so the contractions got a little stronger.  It felt like pressure in my abdomen then gradually grew to the strength of a period cramp.  Still, no big deal.  Then it happened.  The real contractions came and the pain was unreal.  I take it all back – these hurt like a bitch and I can’t believe the number of women who choose to experience all of this naturally.  Time to bring on the epidural.  The anesthesiologist couldn’t get there quick enough.  I’ve heard that getting the epidural put in can be quite painful.  Luckily, I was having a contraction at the same time they were inserting the epidural so I was so focused on the pain of the contraction, I couldn’t feel what was happening in my back. 

Ah, euphoria.  Instantly I could feel the medicine running down my body.  I felt the ultimate body high.  It is an amazing feeling because you are very aware of everything that is going on around you and you can still move your body but you are numb to the pain.  Now the contractions simply feel like pressure.  The whole process from when I was brought to the hospital until I reached the point of being fully dilated was 12 hours.  But it felt more like 2, it was unbelievable how quickly the time went by.  Once I hit the point of being fully dilated it was go time.  In a flash there was a crew of nurses prepping the room and giving me instructions on what to do next.  I went from relaxing and watching TV to full Game On mode in seconds.  (Funny side note – when we flipped on the TV the movie Knocked-Up was on so I was watching labor right before going into labor myself.)

Labor itself only lasted for about 40 minutes.  In 40 short minutes I went from being pregnant and just thinking about what it might be like to be a mom to holding my precious baby girl next to my chest.  I’ve heard horror stories about how awful labor could be, but honestly, it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.  Watching this life that Logan and I created coming out was surreal.  There is a reason why it is called the ‘Miracle’ of birth because it is nothing short of it.  The only complication we experienced was that she had the cord wrapped around her neck, which caused her heart rate to drop each time I pushed.  We had to take it extra slow to make sure she was okay. 

Logan was so amazing during the whole process.  He was such a great coach; so encouraging and supportive throughout the whole day.  After our baby girl was checked out by the NICU team and was cleared as healthy and I got to hold her, Logan and I were just overcome with emotion.  This tiny 5lb 11oz person is a combination of both of us.  The love that we feel for each other reflected back in this sweet life that we created.  It was that feeling that made us both realize that there was only one perfect name for her.  Zoe.  Zoe is Greek for Life, and the amount that our lives changed when we learned we were pregnant and how much it was about to change for ever for this person who came a month sooner than expected made it perfect.  I always knew her middle name would be Grace because it is a family name that I have always loved, but now it seemed even more fitting.  I discovered that if she was any bigger than she was, I would not be able to deliver on my own but would have required a c-section because of how small my pelvis is.  If my water broke any later, Logan would be in a campsite drinking with his friends where he would have no cell phone reception.  If it were another weekend, my mom wouldn’t have been planning on being in Tampa with me that night.  It is only the Grace from God that allows perfect timing like this. 

Now we get to start a new chapter of our life together.  It has only been a few days now since Zoe Grace entered our lives, but I couldn’t imagine life without her.  The amount of love that I already have for her is overwhelming.  I am enjoying every trying minute of motherhood, late nights and lack of sleep.  It is funny how my jam packed weekend of obligations got completely scrapped, yet, life went on.  The shower took place at my home without me, the Gala was a success, and my work is covered.  Zoe is already teaching me that I need to focus on family first.  I can only imagine how much we are going to learn together over this next year and I am going to take the time to appreciate all of it.

32 Weeks - She isn't even here yet and BGB controls my life

Everyone keeps saying that pregnancy is the easy part. I have no doubt. The books I am reading (that I am aware are not preparing me for what I am in for) all warn me of sleepless nights, lots of crying and painful breastfeeding experiences. However, even though she is not here yet, she has already taken over my life and gives me the joys of plenty of sleepless nights. Last week she decided to use my ribcage as a punching bag so to add to my consistent numbing back pain it feels like my entire chest is covered in bruises. This really makes trying to get comfortable at night a challenge. Especially since I have this issue with modern medicine that I just don't like taking drugs unless absolutely necessary. I always try every alternative first to fix an issue before going down the drug route. For my back I have tried ice, warm baths, hot showers, yoga stretches, deep breathing, iNeed massager, etc. etc. etc. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and took some Tylenol PM. Praise the Good Lord, I slept through the night! I'm not going to allow myself to make it a nightly thing, but man is that going to be tough. I've haven't slept that good in months. It felt like a little angel walked down my spine and took the pain away and as soon as I got comfortable she snapped her fingers and I was out for the count.

It was a good thing I was able to get some sleep because the whole weekend was all about BGB. Logan and I attended a two day birth boot camp. 10 hours over two days learning everything about what we are going to experience in about 1.5 months. Intense is an understatement. Let's just say, I am going to be haunted for the rest of my life by the graphic images of the C-section that I don't wish on my worst enemy. I have mad respect for all the ladies out there that had to go through that but I am crossing my fingers, toes and eyes that I do not have to experience it for myself.

When we weren't in class, Logan and I did have fun working on the nursery. We are 90% there with decorating, have all the clothes folded and put away, and were able to return all the duplicate items we received. She can come anytime and we will be ready for her.  (Just hopefully not too soon.)  Now I get to just spend the next couple of weeks enjoying a little bit of alone time that Logan and I have left. And as much as I might complain about the physical pain that I am feeling, I am happy to do it if it means that she is healthy and happy in the home I am making her. 9 months of discomfort is worth a lifetime of happiness that she is going to bring us.

31 Weeks - Showered with Love

31 weeks pregnant.  2 more months left.  Wow.  This has been the fastest and slowest 7 months I have ever experienced.  Fast when I think about all that I still want to do before she gets here and how unprepared I feel.  Slow when I think about all the physical side effects of being pregnant that I will not miss.  The newest one is that BGB likes to hang out on the right side of my body.  The Dr. said that is common because the liver is so soft.  (Good thing pregnancy is a natural liver detox, otherwise I'm not sure anything would survive near mine.)  So when BGB uses my liver as her pillow she crams herself underneath my ribcage causing unbelievable pain.  She also tends to want to do this when I'm trying to go to sleep.  It was a nice added bonus to my travels last week.  I was doing training for my new job (yes I am crazy and started a new career 7 months pregnant) up in Ann Arbor, MI where the weather was -12.  -12!  A slight change from the 70 degree temperature that I am used to in Florida.  Between the flights, hotel beds and BGB's new favorite spot, to say that I was happy to be home Wednesday night is an understatement.  <POSITIVE NOTE:  Training was awesome and I am already so happy with my decision to make the switch.  I see some great things happening for our family.>

After two days of working from home, unpacking from my trip, cleaning the house and other miscellaneous activities that people do, the weekend came and I was kicked out of my house Saturday for the afternoon so that my sweet friends could take it over to prepare for our shower that evening.  I kept myself busy by doing shopping that was unnecessary and spent money that I don't have.  This is the exact reason why I never go to a mall or Target when I am bored.  When I got home I was blown away by the transformation that my house took before the shower.  The girls did an amazing job of capturing the inspiration for the nursery and did so many sweet little touches to help celebrate our Baby Girl.  It was a fun causal night of great food and plenty of cocktails and cigars for those who could participate.  It was everything I could imagine and more.  

As if one night of celebration wasn't enough, my sweet Aunts hosted another shower for me on Sunday afternoon for Logan and my families.  I must admit, I am not normally a fan of traditional showers mainly because I don't like being center of attention and having the spot light on me like during gift openings.  However, with that being said, I couldn't believe how much I actually enjoyed doing it this time.  Maybe baby showers are different than wedding showers because instead of trying to show enthusiasm for a crock pot or towel set at a bridal shower, I am opening bag after bag full of the cutest darn clothing you could imagine.  Little girls are so easy to shop for.  I am not a pink girly girl but my heart melted a little bit with every ruffle, bow and pink flowery outfit that I opened up.  

While I might not feel mentally prepared for BGB's arrival, I can say with confidence that this girl got hooked up this weekend and we are as prepared as we are going to be with all of her "supplies."  I am constantly reminded of how good God has been to me by surrounding me with some of the most amazing, supportive and loving people that a girl could ask for.  Logan and I are always saying that we don't deserve to have people treat us like this because of how thoughtful and selfless everyone is.  I try to return the kindness and love but do not think it compares to everyone's efforts.  It is a great thing for me to remember as we raise BGB from a little girl into a women.  Always treat others with the love and kindness you would want for yourself, take time to appreciate others, and be careful in choosing your friends.  If you do these things, God rewards you with relationships that are invaluable.  I know that is what He did for me.

30 Weeks - Countdown has Begun

The 30 week mark for me fell on January 1st.  As I get ready to start my 10 week countdown to BGB's arrival I thought it was fitting that I do my Top 10 countdown for 2013.  This past year has been full of exciting changes, celebrations and vacations.  I wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on the year that is passing before looking ahead.  So here is Casey's Top 10 of 2013 (Sorry this isn't going to be witty like Dave Letterman's.)  


10.  Traveling to the mountains with friends to experience autumn

9.  Traveling down south to the Keys several times with great friends

8.  Officially had 3 jobs in one year - first time that has happened since college

7.  Having a mini family reunion with my sweet relatives for my grandfather's birthday and enjoying all the Southern Cooking that goes with it

6.  Going to St. Augustine to see Mumford and Sons with special guest appearance by John Fogerty 

5.  Throwing Logan an Old Man party to celebrate all his 'Pepa' characteristics that I love

4.  Going to New Orleans for Jazz Fest where I ate my weight in crawfish

3.  Putting the finishing touches on our house to make it our home

2.  Being surprised by all my friends and family with an unexpected 30th Birthday Party

And the number one awesome thing that happened this year.... (prepare for your mind to be blown)

1.  Finding out that Logan and I are going to be having a baby

What?  Who saw that coming?

Now looking forward to 2014 with only 10 weeks left until our family grows, we are realizing what a hectic 2 months we have ahead.  We still have a whole check list of things to do to get us 'baby ready' along with classes, fun showers, and oh yea.... A New Job!  Why wouldn't I want to start a new job when I'm 7 months pregnant?  But, bottom line is that we have A LOT to look forward to in this upcoming year and I am beyond excited to see what it has in store.  So I happily raise my glass of sparkling grape juice and say CHEERS to the New Year!

Week 27: Tis the season… to freak out

This happens every year.  In the blink of an eye lazy summer days are over and you are sitting down with your family for Thanksgiving then running around like a crazy person getting things together for Christmas.  Each year that passes feels shorter and shorter and it feels like there is only a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas rather than a month.  So you can only imagine how I feel to have the normal holiday pressure with the added physical weight and lack of mobility of this baby sitting on my bladder causing me to run to the restroom every half hour and creating endless back pain.  Oh yea, and I am now in my third trimester which means that I only have about 80 days left before baby girl makes her appearance into this world.

I feel like the checklist of things to do before D-Day is constantly growing without me crossing anything off the list.  Plus everything was put on hold to do just the normal day to day stuff that happens this time of year.  Christmas shopping, work, decorating, holiday parties, etc.  I’m not trying to complain – these are all fun activities and I don’t want to skip out on them, but each obligation in my day means one more day to push off the other responsibilities that I have.  Setting up the nursery, taking the classes at the hospital, setting up an appointment with the pediatrician, etc.  What I would love is for time to stop for about a week.  In that time I can sit in a cozy chair, snuggled up with a cup of hot chocolate enjoying this amazing week Florida gets once a year where it is cold enough to wear a sweater and reflect on what the Christmas season is all about.  I get so caught up in the consumerism side of the holiday that I forget to reflect on the amazing gift that gives me a reason to celebrate this joyous day each year.  But alas, I don’t have the super power to stop time so I will just have to make an effort to make the time to have a little quite moment to be still in reflection. 

Logan and I did get a short moment to spend in reflection of all the accomplishments we’ve had over the past year and what we have to look forward to in the year to come on Saturday night.  He just finished a big project for work that his boss rewarded him for with a date night out with his wife.  So for the first time since being pregnant, I got all dolled up for a night on the town.  It didn’t hurt that we did a maternity shoot earlier that day so I already had my nails and make up looking good.  I found a dress that didn’t make me feel like a manatee, threw some curls in my hair and let my man wine and dine me.  The whole time I couldn’t help but think about how much our life is about to change.  These date nights are going to be few and far between.  Some people might see it as depressing that my night is ending at 9 on a Saturday and I’m looking forward to getting a good night’s sleep vs. the days where I didn’t start getting ready to go out until 9.  Or that I’d rather spend a Friday night after a long week of work in my PJs sitting on my patio with a glass of wine then listening to a local band at a bar.  But these are changes that we are ready for and are excited about.  Besides, if a fancy date night or a night out to the bars becomes a rare occasion rather than a weekly norm, we might actually appreciate and remember those experiences vs. just being a part of the blur of the past year that always overcomes me right around Christmas.  

26 weeks – Babies for Dummies

This was a big week for taking next steps in the pregnancy to get ready for Little Miss BGB.  Logan and I attending our first ‘pregnancy class’ where we learned all about how to take care of newborns.  I believe the official name of the class was just Newborn Care but it could have been called Newborn Care for dummies.  I loved it.  They did not over complicate things and they went over everything you could imagine from changing a diaper to bathing and included great handouts that broke everything down step by step.  It was painfully long (3.5 hours) but went by surprisingly quick.  The thing that I enjoyed the most about the class was it was a visual reminder of all the stuff I have already been reading in my mommy-to-be books.  I left feeling more confident that I know what to do when BGB makes her grand entrance. 

Bad Photos - But Progress Being Made!

Another great moment was that Logan was finally able to start his nesting process.  He has been very productive with getting the nursery ready.  We have a crib assembled and a hutch that has been painted.  Now we just need to find a dresser and put together the glider and all the basics will be complete.  Between that and feeling her movements have started to make a big connection between us and our new family.  We are much more aware of her and are beginning to think about how any decision we make will be impacted by her.  Things like going away for the night on Saturday to the Don CeSar can’t happen on a whim anymore.  Everything from working late to wanting to grab some dinner will need to have BGB in consideration.  People say that having a dog helps prepare you for that, but maybe we just have the world’s easiest dog because that has never been an issue for us. 

Taken at Don CeSar

I’ve also made huge strides in completing my registry.  I realized that I am overthinking things because this registry has taken me over a month to do.  I couldn’t add something to the registry until I did research to see which one is the best and has the strongest reviews.  What kind of parent would I be if my little princess didn’t have the top rated set of plastic keys?  It was getting a little crazy.  So after I did a few more reviews of ‘review-worthy’ items like car seats and baby monitors, I went the girl-rational route.  If it was the cuter option, I picked it.  This is supposed to be the fun part right?  Picking out all the sweet little outfits should be a fun process not stressful.  So in my last week of the second trimester, that is what we did.  We had fun playing house while we wait for the big day.



Week 25 – A quiet moment of thanksgiving

If I have one complaint about the pregnancy experience so far it wouldn’t have anything to do with side effects.  Heartburn – bring it on.  Nausea – so what?  Emotional Breakdowns?  You’ll be a good laugh later.  No, my one complaint is the worry I’ve felt about this sweet child and fear of the unknown.  What could I be doing right now that could be hurting her?  What could I be doing better?  So with the Thanksgiving Holiday finally here, I decided it is time to shut out the negative and to spend a quiet moment of personal thanksgiving for all the wonderful things that I have going for me.  So here is my short top 5 list of things I am most thankful for when it comes to BGB.

Mallory says Happy Thanksgiving!

5.  Regardless of some of my ‘pregnancy side effects’ I have had an easy pregnancy without any serious complications.   I am thankful for my health.

4.  My mommy friends.  I am not the first girl in my circle to have a baby and I am so thankful to have these amazing women to lean onto for advise and support.  Their wisdom has been invaluable.    

3.  My supportive husband.  Logan has stepped up in a way I couldn’t have even imagined.  He has been more supportive, patient, and understanding than I could have dreamed.  I don’t know how women go through this without that support, but I tip my hat to them and have the most respect because I don’t know if I would be that strong.

2.  Thanksgiving Day reminded me that we do have a village to help raise this child.  There is a reason why we stayed in Tampa and it gives me a lot more confidence with having this baby that we are not doing it alone in any way.

1.  Baby Girl is HEALTHY!  Every visit we have gone to has been nothing but good news with her.

So I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving Holiday and was able to take a few minutes to think about how many things they have to be truly thanksful for this year.

Week 24 – Pregnancy. You’re doing it wrong.

Eat whatever you want.  You are eating for two!  Come on try it, for the baby.  These are phrases that I have constantly been hearing, and honestly, have been looking forward to.  For once I don’t need to worry about putting on a few extra pounds.  It is expected right?  So I have had ice cream a little more often then I ever had in my life.  I am ordering sandwiches at lunch instead of always getting the light salads.  I mean, I’m already giving up alcohol, sushi, deli meat and caffeine… I deserve to have some dessert.  Well, apparently not. 

After this last visit to the dr. office, I might be the first ever pregnant lady that is put on a diet.  Really?  I feel like I should have had to do things much more extreme than I am to have a diet be in order.  Like mac and cheese for breakfast, burger with fries and milk shake for lunch and fried chicken smothered in gravy for dinner every night.  But no – even with all the healthy things I am eating, the lack of exercise and some poor food choices I’ve made have lead to the need to count calories the week of thanksgiving no less.  I need to be at the same weight I am now on my next visit to be back on the healthy weight track.  I don’t think I can handle another visit with a Dr. looking at the weight on my chart and criticizing my size.  I can tell you, it doesn’t really instill you with confidence.

What does instill me with confidence though, is how great our sweet baby girl is doing.  She has doubled in size over the past month and looks great.   We saw a 3D sonogram that showed us her face clearly and we could see her big pouty lips and cute little nose.  She is forming into a little person, which is astonishing.  Another amazing moment this week was when Logan got to feel her move for the first time.  He laid his head on my belly and without me having to tell him when she moved he was able to feel it.  They are still small movements, but movements no less.  It is a great reminder that she is alive in there and is healthy.  Mom might not be rocking this pregnancy but baby girl sure is.  She looks beautiful and so far no problems.  I don’t think that I could ask for anything better than that. 

Week 23 – Bottles, and cribs and nipple shields, oh my!

So… these babies.  They need a lot of stuff.  It is kind of amazing how something that is less than 10 lbs could require so many things.  I realized how overwhelming it was this week when we started our registry.  I have been trying to put off registering for as long as possible, but after realizing that we are already in the holidays and my shower will be here before I know it, I thought I’d better get started. 

Not only are there tons of things on your ‘must have list’ but also the number of options in each category is unreal.  I thought I would start with something easy, bottles.  Wrong.  Everyone has an opinion on which bottle is best.  Glass vs. Plastic.  Curved vs. straight.  Liner or no liner.  Then which brand is best?  Should you get a variety to test them out?  What is worst about it is, all babies are different.  One baby might love the Dr. Brown bottle and the mom will rave about it while another one will constantly get gas because it lets in too much air. 

My friends aren’t helping either.  They all give me a different answer when I ask them about what brand they like the best.  Then just when I think I’ve got it under control on what I need and what I will never actually use, I get thrown curve balls.  Did you register for a Wubbanub?  Well, you gotta have a Wubbanub.  What the heck is a Wubbanub?  Or a bumpie?  Or nipple shields?  And why do I need all of these things?  How much of this crap that I ‘have to have’ is going to end up in a pile of stuff I never used.  What I would love to see is a mom write a blog about the things that you actually need to register for and a non-sponsored list of brands that they recommend from personal experience.  That seems to not exist yet.  And if it does and you know about it, send it my way.  All I am finding are sponsored list with paid advertisements or retail stores that have lists of things that you ‘need to have’ so that you register for more stuff.

Basically, I’m overwhelmed already and I’ve only done online shopping.  Next week Logan and I will go ‘test drive’ some strollers and actually walk into some baby stores which I have purposely avoided up until this point.  Fingers crossed we find the perfect stroller quickly and I can go back to the comfort of my computer and never step foot in another one of those stores.

But in better news, baby girl and I are feeling great.  I get to see her in another sonogram next week and have been spending the week looking forward to seeing her again.  I think my favorite part, more than actually seeing her each time, is hearing the heartbeat.  It is the most amazing sound I have ever heard and want to listen to it all the time.  Sometimes when I am thinking about her at night I can start hearing it again in my head which makes me smile.  I’ll buy this princess 50 Wubbanubs if that is what she needs, I just can’t wait to put her in my arms in a few months.

Week 22 – The Nesting Continues

This week has been such a fun week of decorating.  I feel like we were able to make a huge check mark off one item of our list.  Living room, CHECK.  We have been ordering furniture for about a month now and picking up little odds and ends from various markets, second hand shops and other home good stores and we could finally put it all together.  Perfect timing too because we would be having some friends come in town for the weekend.

Logan and I have wanted to get this room complete first before moving to the nursery.  It was the last room of the house that needed furniture.  Before now it was always referred to as the ‘yoga room’ because it was just a big empty space that we didn’t know what to do with.  Now it is a cozy media room that is prefect for unwinding after a long day.  Here are some before and after photos.  Obviously there is still some work to be done but it is a comfortable and functional space.  Most importantly, it has a recliner for Logan. 

So… I get it.  Everyone who has seen it so far has referred to it as an adult room and Logan has warned me that it isn’t kid friendly.  There are fragile antiques, light color furniture and a lot of ‘stuff’ on the tabletops.  However, this is not the kid room.  The kid room is the one with the divorce collection that while I am not going to be encouraging it, I will not be getting mad if there ends up being spilled milk, crayon, or scissor cuts on.  How long will I be able to pull this off?  Who knows?  Maybe not even a year.  But I will be enjoying it while it lasts, that’s for sure.

Now I have a little bit of time that I can soak in snuggling on the clean couch in a pretty room with my husband before baby girl comes.  This week our little girl weighs a pound.  A pound?  That is it?  Well, I sure have made her a big home to roam around in.  She can hear my voice and heartbeat.  It really makes me want to come up with her name so I can start talking to her.  Right now it is a little hard for me to comprehend that she can hear me and would benefit from hearing my voice.  I mean I remember all the long talks I had with my mom while I was in the womb…. Said no one ever.

While baby girl is hanging out and taking naps on my bladder, I have been experiencing some wicked heartburn this week.  It doesn’t matter what I eat or when I eat it, I am going to have heartburn.  And I always forget how bad it is until it comes so I am never prepared.  I need to just keep a thing of Tums in my purse but I don’t think about it until it is already too late.  It usually happens around 4:00 and goes on until I finally get home at 6:30-7 and can pop a few Tums like candy. 

Thank goodness it hasn’t really been an issue while I am going to bed.  The only issue I have when I go to bed are these crazy anxiety dreams.  I keep thinking about all the things I could forget about and neglect my poor child.  Most of them are extreme and would never happen like leaving her in the car all day because I forgot that I was driving her somewhere or just not feeding her at all for 3 days straight because I didn’t think about it.  But the truth is that even though none of these things would happen, I think the anxiety is just coming from the fear of the unknown.  So, I have been trying to spend a lot more time in prayer.  I find that the more I lift up our sweet girl and all my fears to God, the less often I have these dreams and thoughts.  I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot spend my time stressing over things that I don’t have power over and that I need to Him in control.  When I did my 30 before 30 challenge, one of my items on my list was to memorize some of my favorite bible verses.  It is amazing how those have stuck with me and pop in my head when I need them the most.  This week, my verse was Philippians 4:6.  I hope it can be as good of a reminder to you as it is for me.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God

Week 21 - Reality Check

It has finally hit me.  Rather than carrying around a fetus, I am actually feeling like I am helping develop a person.  And not just any person, a sweet little baby girl.  All week long I have had visions of mundane activities of us with our little princess.  Most of them are visions of Logan holding our daughter.  I keep picturing him with this little girl sitting on his lap while he reads her a book or her pulling at his pant legs to get his attention.  The moments I see are always something that would be very trivial in the day-to-day, but monumental in the changes that are about to happen as our family grows.

Mallory and BB are ready for Halloween!

This reality that I am facing as I start thinking more and more about ‘her’ instead of ‘it’ has made everything sink in more.  What all do I need to do before the baby comes to feel prepared?  What will our life look like once she is here?  Are we going to be ready?  We have started a ‘check list’ of things we wanted to finish around the house before she comes, but I have been putting off the ‘new baby’ checklist.  Anytime I start thinking about registering, decorating the nursery, testing out strollers, taking classes at the hospital, etc. etc. etc. I become overwhelmed.  So… I will continue putting it off for a few more weeks.  Lets just focus on the house for now and worry about the baby later.

 

As for me, the symptoms continue.  Unfortunately, this week my backaches were worse than normal.  It got to the point on Saturday that I couldn’t walk.  It was a little bitter sweet for Logan since he has had back pain on and off for a few years now, he knew exactly what I needed to help relieve the pain.  I just hate that it was because he experiences this too that he was helpful.  I have been trying to go to prenatal yoga every week and my instructor showed me some exercises that were extremely helpful.  It is amazing how much stretching properly takes pressure off of your joints.

Back pain or not, it is a small price to pay for this experience.  I will take 20 days of not walking from severe back pain for one day of seeing our baby girl on the sonogram and hearing her heartbeat.  It really does make it all worth it.