Week 35 – 0 weeks to go?

So I guess I jinxed myself last week with the comment that if it wasn’t for my short-term disability that I would tell BGB to come on and join me, because she called my bluff.  A week that started off very normal, took a turn that we were not expecting.

I had a busy week ahead of me full of training for work, event planning for the weekend, Dr’s appointments, the list went on and on.  I had so much on my to-do list I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to do it all.  Friday was no exception.  The morning started with an appointment with my OBGYN.  Everything was completely normal during my exam.  I was measuring on track and set my appointment for the following week.  Immediately after my appointment I drove over to the Spring of Tampa Bay to drop off some items for their silent auction.  I was on the committee for their Peace Couture Gala taking place on Saturday night.  I had just picked up a car full of gift baskets for the auction in Orlando the night before. 

I headed home for a full day of work.  I had a long to-do list of follow up items that I needed to complete before the weekend along with several conference calls.  I already had planned that I would be spending Sunday afternoon wrapping any additional items up that needed to be completed before Monday morning.  I used my lunch break to run my last minute errands to get ready for the baby shower the next morning.  Oh yea, because not only was I on the committee for the Spring’s Gala event Saturday night, but I was also hosting a baby shower that morning in my home for my best friend.

I finished all my errands and was sitting down at my laptop working on some analysis I was trying to wrap up when I had the urge to use the restroom.  I got up to go pee and headed to sit back down when I got a sensation that I couldn’t control where it felt like I peed myself a little.  I heard that this happens to a lot of women in their 3^rd trimester so I put on a panty liner and went back to the bathroom to see if maybe I misread my body.  Again, it was as if I just chugged a 6 pack with how much I needed to use the restroom.  So I chalked it up to a fluke, I mean, I do drink a crap ton of water everyday, and got back up to go back to work.  But… the sensation happened again.  And again.  After 4 times of feeling like I couldn’t control my bladder I called my OBGYN to describe what happened.  Immediately she told me to head over to St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital to get checked out.  She was pretty sure my water broke and they could test it to make sure.

Well crap, what am I going to do?  It is 4:00, my mom and friends are heading over to decorate for the baby shower in about an hour, Logan is leaving the office any minute to go out of town for the weekend to go camping with his buddies and I have deadlines I am trying to hit for work.  Now I am heading to the hospital instead to get checked out?  Well that put a wrench into my weekend.  So I text message the girls to let them know that I will probably be late to the house so I would leave them a key to get started without me and I called Logan to tell him that he shouldn’t be alarmed but I am going to drive over to the hospital because my water might have broken.

I had no idea what was happening right now.  In my mind, even if my water broke, because I wasn’t feeling any contractions yet, they would check me out and send me home until my contractions were closer.  So worst-case scenario, I wouldn’t be very helpful for the shower but could coordinate until it was time for labor.  That is IF my water broke.  I was joking with my friends about how funny of a story would it be that I peed myself so bad that I thought my water broke.  Talk about an all time pregnancy low.

Obviously, Logan had a little more sense and concern for the situation and told me that I couldn’t drive myself to the hospital and that he was on his way to pick me up.  I told him to just tell the guys that he would catch up with them at the campsite later that night.  I honestly didn’t see my weekend changing yet.  But just in case I went ahead and started packing a bag for the hospital.  This was on my to do list for the next week since I didn’t see any reason to do it more than a month out.  While waiting for Logan to make it home, I’m sitting there on Google looking up various websites to see what the heck I needed to bring with me.

About 30 minutes later, Logan was home and we loaded up the car to head to the hospital.  Side note – I am continuously leaking the whole time.  It is becoming more real that this is my water breaking because I am now walking around with a towel shoved between my legs.  We get in the car to head to the hospital and I am sitting on a stack of towels and cracking up laughing because of how it just doesn’t stop.  But of course my laughing makes it come out even faster. 

We go to the exam room and find out right away that my water did break.  I also found out that what was happening to me was very normal.  I always imagined the Hollywood version of water breaking that there is one big gush of liquid vs. the annoying leaky faucet version I experienced.  The other thing I learned is that when your water breaks, you must have the baby within 24 hours.  So I wasn’t leaving the hospital until this little girl comes whether I like it or not. 

I had all these romantic ideas of labor/delivery that were shattered in minutes.  I had this vision in my head that I would start having contractions at home.  I would start a nice warm bath, light some aromatherapy candles and listen to some soothing music to help me while I waited for them to get close enough to warrant going to the hospital.  Maybe my water would break while I am in the water to make it a lot cleaner.  I would take a nice hot shower, put my hair up in a cute pony tail so that the after birth we will be ready for our awesome celebrity photo where I look fabulous and so does my baby.

Instead, I went to the hospital before I got to take a shower, was required to be induced and experienced ever aspect of the contractions hooked up to monitors in the labor room.  We got off to a little bit of a rough start because they inserted my IV incorrectly.  Three people looked at it and said it looked fine but when they started to administer the penicillin (in case I had any infections we weren’t aware of) my entire arm felt like it was on fire and started swelling up really large.  I thought maybe I was being a baby because of how bad the pain was, but when the nurse saw it, they immediately removed the IV and tried in my other arm instead.  What a world of difference that made.  I still have some sweet bruises on my arm from the bad IV job.

Once the pitocin kicked in, so did the contractions.  They started off very mild, mild to the point that the only reason I knew they were happening was because I could see it on the screen.  So what do all these women complain about?  This is easy.  Or maybe I’m just super woman who has a high tolerance to pain.  After an hour or so the contractions got a little stronger.  It felt like pressure in my abdomen then gradually grew to the strength of a period cramp.  Still, no big deal.  Then it happened.  The real contractions came and the pain was unreal.  I take it all back – these hurt like a bitch and I can’t believe the number of women who choose to experience all of this naturally.  Time to bring on the epidural.  The anesthesiologist couldn’t get there quick enough.  I’ve heard that getting the epidural put in can be quite painful.  Luckily, I was having a contraction at the same time they were inserting the epidural so I was so focused on the pain of the contraction, I couldn’t feel what was happening in my back. 

Ah, euphoria.  Instantly I could feel the medicine running down my body.  I felt the ultimate body high.  It is an amazing feeling because you are very aware of everything that is going on around you and you can still move your body but you are numb to the pain.  Now the contractions simply feel like pressure.  The whole process from when I was brought to the hospital until I reached the point of being fully dilated was 12 hours.  But it felt more like 2, it was unbelievable how quickly the time went by.  Once I hit the point of being fully dilated it was go time.  In a flash there was a crew of nurses prepping the room and giving me instructions on what to do next.  I went from relaxing and watching TV to full Game On mode in seconds.  (Funny side note – when we flipped on the TV the movie Knocked-Up was on so I was watching labor right before going into labor myself.)

Labor itself only lasted for about 40 minutes.  In 40 short minutes I went from being pregnant and just thinking about what it might be like to be a mom to holding my precious baby girl next to my chest.  I’ve heard horror stories about how awful labor could be, but honestly, it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.  Watching this life that Logan and I created coming out was surreal.  There is a reason why it is called the ‘Miracle’ of birth because it is nothing short of it.  The only complication we experienced was that she had the cord wrapped around her neck, which caused her heart rate to drop each time I pushed.  We had to take it extra slow to make sure she was okay. 

Logan was so amazing during the whole process.  He was such a great coach; so encouraging and supportive throughout the whole day.  After our baby girl was checked out by the NICU team and was cleared as healthy and I got to hold her, Logan and I were just overcome with emotion.  This tiny 5lb 11oz person is a combination of both of us.  The love that we feel for each other reflected back in this sweet life that we created.  It was that feeling that made us both realize that there was only one perfect name for her.  Zoe.  Zoe is Greek for Life, and the amount that our lives changed when we learned we were pregnant and how much it was about to change for ever for this person who came a month sooner than expected made it perfect.  I always knew her middle name would be Grace because it is a family name that I have always loved, but now it seemed even more fitting.  I discovered that if she was any bigger than she was, I would not be able to deliver on my own but would have required a c-section because of how small my pelvis is.  If my water broke any later, Logan would be in a campsite drinking with his friends where he would have no cell phone reception.  If it were another weekend, my mom wouldn’t have been planning on being in Tampa with me that night.  It is only the Grace from God that allows perfect timing like this. 

Now we get to start a new chapter of our life together.  It has only been a few days now since Zoe Grace entered our lives, but I couldn’t imagine life without her.  The amount of love that I already have for her is overwhelming.  I am enjoying every trying minute of motherhood, late nights and lack of sleep.  It is funny how my jam packed weekend of obligations got completely scrapped, yet, life went on.  The shower took place at my home without me, the Gala was a success, and my work is covered.  Zoe is already teaching me that I need to focus on family first.  I can only imagine how much we are going to learn together over this next year and I am going to take the time to appreciate all of it.

Week 34 - 6 weeks to go

The countdown to D Day continues. If it wasn't for the little issue of my short term disability doesn't kick in until March 1st, I would be doing everything I could to encourage BGB to come on and join us in the real world! This week brought on two new side effects. One is a sharp, electrical shock feeling that only last for a few seconds but is very intense. Luckily, this is apparently very normal and is part of my body prepping for delivery. So now every time I feel like I'm being electrocuted, I also have a quick panic feeling that she is going to be coming sooner than expected.

Fortunately, the other new 'side effect' that I have been experiencing this week is an awesome one. She has been hiccupping a lot. Some people find this annoying, but I LOVE it. I think it is the coolest feeling. One of the perks from working from home and spending most of my time in either a chair at home or in the car has been how much I can feel her every day. I am going to miss this sensation after she is here because it has really made me feel connected to her. It is interesting to me because for the first 6 months before I could feel her move, I was constantly wondering if she was okay. I counted down the minutes until the next dr. appointment so I could hear her heartbeat and get that reassurance that everything is okay. Now it feels like I am getting a reminder every half hour that I have a happy baby girl in there. It is making up for all that time of me feeling neurotic.

I also had my first weird pregnancy craving.  I was driving home on Monday night and all I could think about was a bowl of pineapple and a glass of chocolate milk.  Not normally something that goes well together but I could not go to bed until I had that combo. 




I am enjoying some yummy iced caffeine-free key lime

ginger tea with honey. Such a yummy treat in the sunshine

This weekend we finally had some beautiful Florida weather, so Logan and I took advantage of it. After spending all day Saturday cleaning house, we spent Sunday in the backyard. I look forward to lots of Sundays in our backyard playing with BGB and floating around in the pool. She is going to be a water baby if she likes it or not.





33 weeks down, 7 more to go!

The last time I did a count down like this was leading up to Logan's and my wedding day.  I remember looking at the knot.com everyday and feeling stressed out because of all the items I haven't checked off.  Even things that we said we weren't going to do all of a sudden seemed really important.  I wasn't going to have favors because I thought that everything that I found was cheesy and why would we get engraved serving knives for the cake when we would never use them again?  When the countdown got to 3 weeks until the wedding, all of a sudden it seemed extremely important that I had these things at the wedding so now I was scrambling to make it happen.  Looking back, I still think the favors were cheesy but do use the serving knives anytime we have desserts so I guess that one wasn't a complete waste of time.

Things haven't changed with me much.  I still live by check lists.  It is the only way to keep my life in somewhat order.  If I don't put an appointment on my outlook calendar then I can guarantee I will forget about it.  So of course I printed out the 3rd trimester checklist of things that I MUST get done before BGB gets here otherwise she is going to be sleeping in a cardboard box with a washcloth safety pinned as a diaper.  Okay, so we are obviously more put together than that, but I do feel that pressure.  So this week Logan and I sat down and read through the list and started checking things off one by one.  We made a lot of progress and with every check mark on the paper, the more and more excited I become to have her here.  


Clothes washed and folded
Washed all bedding and put crib together
Baby budget and financial planning
Labor day of contact list
Registered at the hospital
Signed up for breast feeding class
Met with pediatrician
Made arrangements for Mallory

If we keep this pace up, it really will just be a waiting game in the last few weeks, which is okay with me.  Now if only she would start cooperating and allow her mom to get a good night sleep.  Well, I guess I am not expecting it once she gets here, so why should I expect it now?  Fine, BGB, continue to put pressure on my bladder when it is inconvenient... I love ya anyway.

32 Weeks - She isn't even here yet and BGB controls my life

Everyone keeps saying that pregnancy is the easy part. I have no doubt. The books I am reading (that I am aware are not preparing me for what I am in for) all warn me of sleepless nights, lots of crying and painful breastfeeding experiences. However, even though she is not here yet, she has already taken over my life and gives me the joys of plenty of sleepless nights. Last week she decided to use my ribcage as a punching bag so to add to my consistent numbing back pain it feels like my entire chest is covered in bruises. This really makes trying to get comfortable at night a challenge. Especially since I have this issue with modern medicine that I just don't like taking drugs unless absolutely necessary. I always try every alternative first to fix an issue before going down the drug route. For my back I have tried ice, warm baths, hot showers, yoga stretches, deep breathing, iNeed massager, etc. etc. etc. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and took some Tylenol PM. Praise the Good Lord, I slept through the night! I'm not going to allow myself to make it a nightly thing, but man is that going to be tough. I've haven't slept that good in months. It felt like a little angel walked down my spine and took the pain away and as soon as I got comfortable she snapped her fingers and I was out for the count.

It was a good thing I was able to get some sleep because the whole weekend was all about BGB. Logan and I attended a two day birth boot camp. 10 hours over two days learning everything about what we are going to experience in about 1.5 months. Intense is an understatement. Let's just say, I am going to be haunted for the rest of my life by the graphic images of the C-section that I don't wish on my worst enemy. I have mad respect for all the ladies out there that had to go through that but I am crossing my fingers, toes and eyes that I do not have to experience it for myself.

When we weren't in class, Logan and I did have fun working on the nursery. We are 90% there with decorating, have all the clothes folded and put away, and were able to return all the duplicate items we received. She can come anytime and we will be ready for her.  (Just hopefully not too soon.)  Now I get to just spend the next couple of weeks enjoying a little bit of alone time that Logan and I have left. And as much as I might complain about the physical pain that I am feeling, I am happy to do it if it means that she is healthy and happy in the home I am making her. 9 months of discomfort is worth a lifetime of happiness that she is going to bring us.

31 Weeks - Showered with Love

31 weeks pregnant.  2 more months left.  Wow.  This has been the fastest and slowest 7 months I have ever experienced.  Fast when I think about all that I still want to do before she gets here and how unprepared I feel.  Slow when I think about all the physical side effects of being pregnant that I will not miss.  The newest one is that BGB likes to hang out on the right side of my body.  The Dr. said that is common because the liver is so soft.  (Good thing pregnancy is a natural liver detox, otherwise I'm not sure anything would survive near mine.)  So when BGB uses my liver as her pillow she crams herself underneath my ribcage causing unbelievable pain.  She also tends to want to do this when I'm trying to go to sleep.  It was a nice added bonus to my travels last week.  I was doing training for my new job (yes I am crazy and started a new career 7 months pregnant) up in Ann Arbor, MI where the weather was -12.  -12!  A slight change from the 70 degree temperature that I am used to in Florida.  Between the flights, hotel beds and BGB's new favorite spot, to say that I was happy to be home Wednesday night is an understatement.  <POSITIVE NOTE:  Training was awesome and I am already so happy with my decision to make the switch.  I see some great things happening for our family.>

After two days of working from home, unpacking from my trip, cleaning the house and other miscellaneous activities that people do, the weekend came and I was kicked out of my house Saturday for the afternoon so that my sweet friends could take it over to prepare for our shower that evening.  I kept myself busy by doing shopping that was unnecessary and spent money that I don't have.  This is the exact reason why I never go to a mall or Target when I am bored.  When I got home I was blown away by the transformation that my house took before the shower.  The girls did an amazing job of capturing the inspiration for the nursery and did so many sweet little touches to help celebrate our Baby Girl.  It was a fun causal night of great food and plenty of cocktails and cigars for those who could participate.  It was everything I could imagine and more.  

As if one night of celebration wasn't enough, my sweet Aunts hosted another shower for me on Sunday afternoon for Logan and my families.  I must admit, I am not normally a fan of traditional showers mainly because I don't like being center of attention and having the spot light on me like during gift openings.  However, with that being said, I couldn't believe how much I actually enjoyed doing it this time.  Maybe baby showers are different than wedding showers because instead of trying to show enthusiasm for a crock pot or towel set at a bridal shower, I am opening bag after bag full of the cutest darn clothing you could imagine.  Little girls are so easy to shop for.  I am not a pink girly girl but my heart melted a little bit with every ruffle, bow and pink flowery outfit that I opened up.  

While I might not feel mentally prepared for BGB's arrival, I can say with confidence that this girl got hooked up this weekend and we are as prepared as we are going to be with all of her "supplies."  I am constantly reminded of how good God has been to me by surrounding me with some of the most amazing, supportive and loving people that a girl could ask for.  Logan and I are always saying that we don't deserve to have people treat us like this because of how thoughtful and selfless everyone is.  I try to return the kindness and love but do not think it compares to everyone's efforts.  It is a great thing for me to remember as we raise BGB from a little girl into a women.  Always treat others with the love and kindness you would want for yourself, take time to appreciate others, and be careful in choosing your friends.  If you do these things, God rewards you with relationships that are invaluable.  I know that is what He did for me.

30 Weeks - Countdown has Begun

The 30 week mark for me fell on January 1st.  As I get ready to start my 10 week countdown to BGB's arrival I thought it was fitting that I do my Top 10 countdown for 2013.  This past year has been full of exciting changes, celebrations and vacations.  I wanted to take a few minutes to reflect on the year that is passing before looking ahead.  So here is Casey's Top 10 of 2013 (Sorry this isn't going to be witty like Dave Letterman's.)  


10.  Traveling to the mountains with friends to experience autumn

9.  Traveling down south to the Keys several times with great friends

8.  Officially had 3 jobs in one year - first time that has happened since college

7.  Having a mini family reunion with my sweet relatives for my grandfather's birthday and enjoying all the Southern Cooking that goes with it

6.  Going to St. Augustine to see Mumford and Sons with special guest appearance by John Fogerty 

5.  Throwing Logan an Old Man party to celebrate all his 'Pepa' characteristics that I love

4.  Going to New Orleans for Jazz Fest where I ate my weight in crawfish

3.  Putting the finishing touches on our house to make it our home

2.  Being surprised by all my friends and family with an unexpected 30th Birthday Party

And the number one awesome thing that happened this year.... (prepare for your mind to be blown)

1.  Finding out that Logan and I are going to be having a baby

What?  Who saw that coming?

Now looking forward to 2014 with only 10 weeks left until our family grows, we are realizing what a hectic 2 months we have ahead.  We still have a whole check list of things to do to get us 'baby ready' along with classes, fun showers, and oh yea.... A New Job!  Why wouldn't I want to start a new job when I'm 7 months pregnant?  But, bottom line is that we have A LOT to look forward to in this upcoming year and I am beyond excited to see what it has in store.  So I happily raise my glass of sparkling grape juice and say CHEERS to the New Year!

29 Weeks - Christmas Blessings

Christmas really is my favorite time of year when I take the time to slow down and appreciate everything.  This year that really didn't happen until the day was over.  I came home from spending time at my aunt's beach house and unpacked the car and all the sweet gifts that we received and that is when it really hit me.  I sat down with a cup of hot tea by myself in the living room, turned on the Christmas tree lights and reflected on the past few days.  All the amazing food that was prepared.  The thoughtful gifts that were given to Logan and me, not to mention the number of treats for BGB.  Most importantly, all the laughter and love that was shared.  I took some time to put all of BGB's new outfits away and thought about how the time would be here before we know it when instead of hanging in a closet, she will be wearing these sweet clothes.  The little shoes get to me every time.  They are so tiny. I know though that just as quickly these past 7 months have flown by, so will how fast she will be growing out of these cute, tiny newborn outfits and leaving us for her first day of school.  So my biggest take away this week is to spend the time alone, over a nice cup of coffee or tea and think about the small moments that make our lives so special, not just during the holidays.