29 Weeks - Christmas Blessings

Christmas really is my favorite time of year when I take the time to slow down and appreciate everything.  This year that really didn't happen until the day was over.  I came home from spending time at my aunt's beach house and unpacked the car and all the sweet gifts that we received and that is when it really hit me.  I sat down with a cup of hot tea by myself in the living room, turned on the Christmas tree lights and reflected on the past few days.  All the amazing food that was prepared.  The thoughtful gifts that were given to Logan and me, not to mention the number of treats for BGB.  Most importantly, all the laughter and love that was shared.  I took some time to put all of BGB's new outfits away and thought about how the time would be here before we know it when instead of hanging in a closet, she will be wearing these sweet clothes.  The little shoes get to me every time.  They are so tiny. I know though that just as quickly these past 7 months have flown by, so will how fast she will be growing out of these cute, tiny newborn outfits and leaving us for her first day of school.  So my biggest take away this week is to spend the time alone, over a nice cup of coffee or tea and think about the small moments that make our lives so special, not just during the holidays.

28 Weeks - New Low

Let's play a game called find my feet.

I know I have said it before, but who are these people who LOVE being pregnant?  I Love that I have a healthy baby girl growing inside me.  I Love the idea of my family growing.  I Love that Logan and I are going to be parents soon.  But I just Don’t Love being pregnant.  Every week there is something new to overcome thanks to the fat suit I am wearing.  This week’s challenge:  tying my shoes.  Yep, that happened.  I can no longer sit in a chair, bend over and tie my shoe by myself.  The thing that I never get used to is the fact that this belly of mine is solid.  It is a good thing, I know.  There is a baby in there not just a bunch of cheeseburgers.  But that means I can’t suck it in when I’m trying to get through a crowd and I can’t squish it down when I try to bend over to put on some running shoes.  (Let’s be serious though, they might be called running shoes, but there is no running happening.)

The other thing I can’t get used to is how many breaks I need to take.  Cooking is a love of mine and I do a lot of it during the holiday season.  It took me 3 times as long as it would normally to do my normal preparations, which really threw me off.  I get so tired so quickly and my back starts to hurt with very little effort.  It seemed like every 15 minutes I was heading to the couch with a big bottle of water to take a breather.  Not to mention that it is only 68 degrees in my house and I’m dripping in sweat from the little activity I just did.  It makes me realize how much I use to take for granted.  Thank goodness for my sweet husband who normally does everything possible to avoid the kitchen for stepping in and helping out.  Otherwise I would have been in the kitchen until 2 a.m. hating life.  Something that I always enjoyed is now a hassle.  It is moments like that which make me wish I could fast forward to 3 months from now. 

A lot of good happened this week though so I can’t complain too much.  I had the best Dr. Appointment yet.  I think this is the first time that they have not told me that I am gaining too much weight.  Actually, I measured exactly where I should be.  I am 28 centimeters and 28 weeks which was perfect.  BGB’s heartbeat sounded awesome and she has been kicking up a storm.  I also put together a nice long check list of things that need to happen before her arrival and have a lot of things crossed off it already.  This might be the first time in months that I’m not feeling overwhelmed.  Great timing too since this will be a hectic week of running around and visiting with family over Christmas.  So no, I don't love what being pregnant is doing to me physically, but I do love what being pregnant means for my family.  I love the connection that is developing between me and this little girl and I am really counting down the days until I get to meet her.

Week 27: Tis the season… to freak out

This happens every year.  In the blink of an eye lazy summer days are over and you are sitting down with your family for Thanksgiving then running around like a crazy person getting things together for Christmas.  Each year that passes feels shorter and shorter and it feels like there is only a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas rather than a month.  So you can only imagine how I feel to have the normal holiday pressure with the added physical weight and lack of mobility of this baby sitting on my bladder causing me to run to the restroom every half hour and creating endless back pain.  Oh yea, and I am now in my third trimester which means that I only have about 80 days left before baby girl makes her appearance into this world.

I feel like the checklist of things to do before D-Day is constantly growing without me crossing anything off the list.  Plus everything was put on hold to do just the normal day to day stuff that happens this time of year.  Christmas shopping, work, decorating, holiday parties, etc.  I’m not trying to complain – these are all fun activities and I don’t want to skip out on them, but each obligation in my day means one more day to push off the other responsibilities that I have.  Setting up the nursery, taking the classes at the hospital, setting up an appointment with the pediatrician, etc.  What I would love is for time to stop for about a week.  In that time I can sit in a cozy chair, snuggled up with a cup of hot chocolate enjoying this amazing week Florida gets once a year where it is cold enough to wear a sweater and reflect on what the Christmas season is all about.  I get so caught up in the consumerism side of the holiday that I forget to reflect on the amazing gift that gives me a reason to celebrate this joyous day each year.  But alas, I don’t have the super power to stop time so I will just have to make an effort to make the time to have a little quite moment to be still in reflection. 

Logan and I did get a short moment to spend in reflection of all the accomplishments we’ve had over the past year and what we have to look forward to in the year to come on Saturday night.  He just finished a big project for work that his boss rewarded him for with a date night out with his wife.  So for the first time since being pregnant, I got all dolled up for a night on the town.  It didn’t hurt that we did a maternity shoot earlier that day so I already had my nails and make up looking good.  I found a dress that didn’t make me feel like a manatee, threw some curls in my hair and let my man wine and dine me.  The whole time I couldn’t help but think about how much our life is about to change.  These date nights are going to be few and far between.  Some people might see it as depressing that my night is ending at 9 on a Saturday and I’m looking forward to getting a good night’s sleep vs. the days where I didn’t start getting ready to go out until 9.  Or that I’d rather spend a Friday night after a long week of work in my PJs sitting on my patio with a glass of wine then listening to a local band at a bar.  But these are changes that we are ready for and are excited about.  Besides, if a fancy date night or a night out to the bars becomes a rare occasion rather than a weekly norm, we might actually appreciate and remember those experiences vs. just being a part of the blur of the past year that always overcomes me right around Christmas.  

26 weeks – Babies for Dummies

This was a big week for taking next steps in the pregnancy to get ready for Little Miss BGB.  Logan and I attending our first ‘pregnancy class’ where we learned all about how to take care of newborns.  I believe the official name of the class was just Newborn Care but it could have been called Newborn Care for dummies.  I loved it.  They did not over complicate things and they went over everything you could imagine from changing a diaper to bathing and included great handouts that broke everything down step by step.  It was painfully long (3.5 hours) but went by surprisingly quick.  The thing that I enjoyed the most about the class was it was a visual reminder of all the stuff I have already been reading in my mommy-to-be books.  I left feeling more confident that I know what to do when BGB makes her grand entrance. 

Bad Photos - But Progress Being Made!

Another great moment was that Logan was finally able to start his nesting process.  He has been very productive with getting the nursery ready.  We have a crib assembled and a hutch that has been painted.  Now we just need to find a dresser and put together the glider and all the basics will be complete.  Between that and feeling her movements have started to make a big connection between us and our new family.  We are much more aware of her and are beginning to think about how any decision we make will be impacted by her.  Things like going away for the night on Saturday to the Don CeSar can’t happen on a whim anymore.  Everything from working late to wanting to grab some dinner will need to have BGB in consideration.  People say that having a dog helps prepare you for that, but maybe we just have the world’s easiest dog because that has never been an issue for us. 

Taken at Don CeSar

I’ve also made huge strides in completing my registry.  I realized that I am overthinking things because this registry has taken me over a month to do.  I couldn’t add something to the registry until I did research to see which one is the best and has the strongest reviews.  What kind of parent would I be if my little princess didn’t have the top rated set of plastic keys?  It was getting a little crazy.  So after I did a few more reviews of ‘review-worthy’ items like car seats and baby monitors, I went the girl-rational route.  If it was the cuter option, I picked it.  This is supposed to be the fun part right?  Picking out all the sweet little outfits should be a fun process not stressful.  So in my last week of the second trimester, that is what we did.  We had fun playing house while we wait for the big day.



Week 25 – A quiet moment of thanksgiving

If I have one complaint about the pregnancy experience so far it wouldn’t have anything to do with side effects.  Heartburn – bring it on.  Nausea – so what?  Emotional Breakdowns?  You’ll be a good laugh later.  No, my one complaint is the worry I’ve felt about this sweet child and fear of the unknown.  What could I be doing right now that could be hurting her?  What could I be doing better?  So with the Thanksgiving Holiday finally here, I decided it is time to shut out the negative and to spend a quiet moment of personal thanksgiving for all the wonderful things that I have going for me.  So here is my short top 5 list of things I am most thankful for when it comes to BGB.

Mallory says Happy Thanksgiving!

5.  Regardless of some of my ‘pregnancy side effects’ I have had an easy pregnancy without any serious complications.   I am thankful for my health.

4.  My mommy friends.  I am not the first girl in my circle to have a baby and I am so thankful to have these amazing women to lean onto for advise and support.  Their wisdom has been invaluable.    

3.  My supportive husband.  Logan has stepped up in a way I couldn’t have even imagined.  He has been more supportive, patient, and understanding than I could have dreamed.  I don’t know how women go through this without that support, but I tip my hat to them and have the most respect because I don’t know if I would be that strong.

2.  Thanksgiving Day reminded me that we do have a village to help raise this child.  There is a reason why we stayed in Tampa and it gives me a lot more confidence with having this baby that we are not doing it alone in any way.

1.  Baby Girl is HEALTHY!  Every visit we have gone to has been nothing but good news with her.

So I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving Holiday and was able to take a few minutes to think about how many things they have to be truly thanksful for this year.

Week 24 – Pregnancy. You’re doing it wrong.

Eat whatever you want.  You are eating for two!  Come on try it, for the baby.  These are phrases that I have constantly been hearing, and honestly, have been looking forward to.  For once I don’t need to worry about putting on a few extra pounds.  It is expected right?  So I have had ice cream a little more often then I ever had in my life.  I am ordering sandwiches at lunch instead of always getting the light salads.  I mean, I’m already giving up alcohol, sushi, deli meat and caffeine… I deserve to have some dessert.  Well, apparently not. 

After this last visit to the dr. office, I might be the first ever pregnant lady that is put on a diet.  Really?  I feel like I should have had to do things much more extreme than I am to have a diet be in order.  Like mac and cheese for breakfast, burger with fries and milk shake for lunch and fried chicken smothered in gravy for dinner every night.  But no – even with all the healthy things I am eating, the lack of exercise and some poor food choices I’ve made have lead to the need to count calories the week of thanksgiving no less.  I need to be at the same weight I am now on my next visit to be back on the healthy weight track.  I don’t think I can handle another visit with a Dr. looking at the weight on my chart and criticizing my size.  I can tell you, it doesn’t really instill you with confidence.

What does instill me with confidence though, is how great our sweet baby girl is doing.  She has doubled in size over the past month and looks great.   We saw a 3D sonogram that showed us her face clearly and we could see her big pouty lips and cute little nose.  She is forming into a little person, which is astonishing.  Another amazing moment this week was when Logan got to feel her move for the first time.  He laid his head on my belly and without me having to tell him when she moved he was able to feel it.  They are still small movements, but movements no less.  It is a great reminder that she is alive in there and is healthy.  Mom might not be rocking this pregnancy but baby girl sure is.  She looks beautiful and so far no problems.  I don’t think that I could ask for anything better than that. 

Week 23 – Bottles, and cribs and nipple shields, oh my!

So… these babies.  They need a lot of stuff.  It is kind of amazing how something that is less than 10 lbs could require so many things.  I realized how overwhelming it was this week when we started our registry.  I have been trying to put off registering for as long as possible, but after realizing that we are already in the holidays and my shower will be here before I know it, I thought I’d better get started. 

Not only are there tons of things on your ‘must have list’ but also the number of options in each category is unreal.  I thought I would start with something easy, bottles.  Wrong.  Everyone has an opinion on which bottle is best.  Glass vs. Plastic.  Curved vs. straight.  Liner or no liner.  Then which brand is best?  Should you get a variety to test them out?  What is worst about it is, all babies are different.  One baby might love the Dr. Brown bottle and the mom will rave about it while another one will constantly get gas because it lets in too much air. 

My friends aren’t helping either.  They all give me a different answer when I ask them about what brand they like the best.  Then just when I think I’ve got it under control on what I need and what I will never actually use, I get thrown curve balls.  Did you register for a Wubbanub?  Well, you gotta have a Wubbanub.  What the heck is a Wubbanub?  Or a bumpie?  Or nipple shields?  And why do I need all of these things?  How much of this crap that I ‘have to have’ is going to end up in a pile of stuff I never used.  What I would love to see is a mom write a blog about the things that you actually need to register for and a non-sponsored list of brands that they recommend from personal experience.  That seems to not exist yet.  And if it does and you know about it, send it my way.  All I am finding are sponsored list with paid advertisements or retail stores that have lists of things that you ‘need to have’ so that you register for more stuff.

Basically, I’m overwhelmed already and I’ve only done online shopping.  Next week Logan and I will go ‘test drive’ some strollers and actually walk into some baby stores which I have purposely avoided up until this point.  Fingers crossed we find the perfect stroller quickly and I can go back to the comfort of my computer and never step foot in another one of those stores.

But in better news, baby girl and I are feeling great.  I get to see her in another sonogram next week and have been spending the week looking forward to seeing her again.  I think my favorite part, more than actually seeing her each time, is hearing the heartbeat.  It is the most amazing sound I have ever heard and want to listen to it all the time.  Sometimes when I am thinking about her at night I can start hearing it again in my head which makes me smile.  I’ll buy this princess 50 Wubbanubs if that is what she needs, I just can’t wait to put her in my arms in a few months.

Week 22 – The Nesting Continues

This week has been such a fun week of decorating.  I feel like we were able to make a huge check mark off one item of our list.  Living room, CHECK.  We have been ordering furniture for about a month now and picking up little odds and ends from various markets, second hand shops and other home good stores and we could finally put it all together.  Perfect timing too because we would be having some friends come in town for the weekend.

Logan and I have wanted to get this room complete first before moving to the nursery.  It was the last room of the house that needed furniture.  Before now it was always referred to as the ‘yoga room’ because it was just a big empty space that we didn’t know what to do with.  Now it is a cozy media room that is prefect for unwinding after a long day.  Here are some before and after photos.  Obviously there is still some work to be done but it is a comfortable and functional space.  Most importantly, it has a recliner for Logan. 

So… I get it.  Everyone who has seen it so far has referred to it as an adult room and Logan has warned me that it isn’t kid friendly.  There are fragile antiques, light color furniture and a lot of ‘stuff’ on the tabletops.  However, this is not the kid room.  The kid room is the one with the divorce collection that while I am not going to be encouraging it, I will not be getting mad if there ends up being spilled milk, crayon, or scissor cuts on.  How long will I be able to pull this off?  Who knows?  Maybe not even a year.  But I will be enjoying it while it lasts, that’s for sure.

Now I have a little bit of time that I can soak in snuggling on the clean couch in a pretty room with my husband before baby girl comes.  This week our little girl weighs a pound.  A pound?  That is it?  Well, I sure have made her a big home to roam around in.  She can hear my voice and heartbeat.  It really makes me want to come up with her name so I can start talking to her.  Right now it is a little hard for me to comprehend that she can hear me and would benefit from hearing my voice.  I mean I remember all the long talks I had with my mom while I was in the womb…. Said no one ever.

While baby girl is hanging out and taking naps on my bladder, I have been experiencing some wicked heartburn this week.  It doesn’t matter what I eat or when I eat it, I am going to have heartburn.  And I always forget how bad it is until it comes so I am never prepared.  I need to just keep a thing of Tums in my purse but I don’t think about it until it is already too late.  It usually happens around 4:00 and goes on until I finally get home at 6:30-7 and can pop a few Tums like candy. 

Thank goodness it hasn’t really been an issue while I am going to bed.  The only issue I have when I go to bed are these crazy anxiety dreams.  I keep thinking about all the things I could forget about and neglect my poor child.  Most of them are extreme and would never happen like leaving her in the car all day because I forgot that I was driving her somewhere or just not feeding her at all for 3 days straight because I didn’t think about it.  But the truth is that even though none of these things would happen, I think the anxiety is just coming from the fear of the unknown.  So, I have been trying to spend a lot more time in prayer.  I find that the more I lift up our sweet girl and all my fears to God, the less often I have these dreams and thoughts.  I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot spend my time stressing over things that I don’t have power over and that I need to Him in control.  When I did my 30 before 30 challenge, one of my items on my list was to memorize some of my favorite bible verses.  It is amazing how those have stuck with me and pop in my head when I need them the most.  This week, my verse was Philippians 4:6.  I hope it can be as good of a reminder to you as it is for me.

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God

Week 21 - Reality Check

It has finally hit me.  Rather than carrying around a fetus, I am actually feeling like I am helping develop a person.  And not just any person, a sweet little baby girl.  All week long I have had visions of mundane activities of us with our little princess.  Most of them are visions of Logan holding our daughter.  I keep picturing him with this little girl sitting on his lap while he reads her a book or her pulling at his pant legs to get his attention.  The moments I see are always something that would be very trivial in the day-to-day, but monumental in the changes that are about to happen as our family grows.

Mallory and BB are ready for Halloween!

This reality that I am facing as I start thinking more and more about ‘her’ instead of ‘it’ has made everything sink in more.  What all do I need to do before the baby comes to feel prepared?  What will our life look like once she is here?  Are we going to be ready?  We have started a ‘check list’ of things we wanted to finish around the house before she comes, but I have been putting off the ‘new baby’ checklist.  Anytime I start thinking about registering, decorating the nursery, testing out strollers, taking classes at the hospital, etc. etc. etc. I become overwhelmed.  So… I will continue putting it off for a few more weeks.  Lets just focus on the house for now and worry about the baby later.

 

As for me, the symptoms continue.  Unfortunately, this week my backaches were worse than normal.  It got to the point on Saturday that I couldn’t walk.  It was a little bitter sweet for Logan since he has had back pain on and off for a few years now, he knew exactly what I needed to help relieve the pain.  I just hate that it was because he experiences this too that he was helpful.  I have been trying to go to prenatal yoga every week and my instructor showed me some exercises that were extremely helpful.  It is amazing how much stretching properly takes pressure off of your joints.

Back pain or not, it is a small price to pay for this experience.  I will take 20 days of not walking from severe back pain for one day of seeing our baby girl on the sonogram and hearing her heartbeat.  It really does make it all worth it.  

Week 20 - The week we found out that BB is a....

Ever since the day I announced to the world that Logan and I were expecting a baby, the big question that has been asked is if we know if it is a boy or a girl.  I don’t know if it is because people really are curious or if that changes their opinion on how excited they are for the pregnancy, or if it is just something people say.  Just like when you get engaged and people immediately ask, ‘so when is the big day?’  If people were smart enough to know that we wouldn’t know the sex yet, then the next logical question was, ‘so are you going to find out the sex?’  My answer was always the quick Heck Ya we are!  I don’t want a room full of green and yellow onesies.  (Although, that isn’t a bad color combo for my beloved Bulls.)  But then my response is often followed by, oh so you don’t want it to be a surprise?

What do you mean I don’t want it to be a surprise?  Is the only time I can be surprised is when I’m in miserable labor pains to find out what it was all for?  Can’t someone be just as surprised in the sonogram room when you are seeing for the first time what is happening between those baby legs?  I thought it was going to be a surprise either now or later, so what’s the harm in knowing it now?  I can start planning out the nursery, picking out cute outfits and most importantly what we are going to name BB.  Although, BB is growing on me quite a bit and we’ve considered just picking a B name for boy or girl so we can stick to the nickname.

So the time has come, and we are finally going to meet our sweet Baby Boy or Girl.  Leading up to the appointment felt like Christmas did when I was a kid.  The hours couldn’t go by fast enough before our appointment.  Not because I couldn’t wait to start picking out the theme of the room, but more importantly, to ease the anxiety I have been having on whether or not BB is growing at a healthy rate.  I feel like I’ve been in the dark for months.  I get blood work done each week and give urine samples but I never hear anything back.  I know the saying goes no news is good news, but give me something!  If they told me that if I ate 2 bananas a day that my baby would be even healthier then I would add 2 bananas to my diet ASAP.  Luckily, my nerves were calmed at my appointment when everything was measuring right on track; our sweet baby looked great and the dr. didn’t have any concerns with me.  Well… one concern.  My weight.  Still.  I’ve only gained 2 lbs since the last visit which is a perfect, however, because I gained so much in the first trimester, I am still 4 lbs over what they want.  Note to self:  STOP SKIPPING THE GYM. 

Now for the big question to be answered.  Is BB a future dancer like mom or baseball player like dad?  (Don’t overthink my stereotyping here.  He/She can do whatever activities they want.)  Logan and I discussed how and when we wanted to find out the news.  We decided we didn’t want to know at the dr. office.  We wanted it to be a private moment that we could share alone.  So we had the tech write down the sex in an envelope for us to open up later.  We headed home from our appointment glowing with excitement that our sweet baby is HEALTHY.  We went out to our patio with Mallory and had a fun discussion about either result and what that meant to us.  We also just talked about how excited we are about this big change in our life.  Then we opened the envelope for the big reveal.  Inside was a sonogram photo with one word written on it.  GIRL.  We are having a sweet little baby girl!

I would love to say that I was in shock when I saw it, but I wasn’t.  I have had this intuition since the day I found out that I was pregnant that I was going to have a little girl.  That with every person who sees me looks at my belly and says, oh yea, you are having a girl.  Even the stranger behind the paint counter at Home Depot suspected that we were having a girl.  I also did all the little wives tales ‘tests’ to see what the sex of your baby will be.  8 out of 10 pointed to GIRL.  Logan was doomed from the start.  He didn’t stand a chance against the fact that there would be a daddy’s little girl to wrap him around her finger.  No more mysteries, no more calling my baby ‘it.’  SHE is doing great and I love talking to HER.  So now the fun really can begin.  I can start thinking names and nursery for our little princess.  I cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. 

Week 19 – Another pregnancy symptom checked off the list.

So… babies.  They seem to be a lot of work.  (I know, mind blown.)  I’ve been trying to read various baby books each night to help me get mentally prepared for what is going to come.  The one I am reading now, Babywise, is not putting me at ease.  There was a 20 page chapter dedicated to breast feeding.  It covered techniques in holding the baby, latching, how much to feed each time, how often to feed, and the list goes on.  At the end of the chapter I was more confused than when I started.  Why is it that something that is so natural and what we were put on this earth to do, is so complicated? 

I mean, look at any other mammal.  They don’t read books or have coaches telling them what to do.  A male comes up when she’s not expecting it, knocks her up then a few months later she finds a quiet place in the woods gives birth and goes straight into feeding.  No big deal.  It’s just what they do.  Babies grow up just fine (assuming nothing bigger than it kills it.)  They don’t worry about allergies or if it has been 2 hours on the dot since it’s last feeding.  So it makes me wonder, in our age of technology and endless studies, have we made it all over complicated?

 

The other thing that I struggle with is that all of these books are based on opinions.  Sure, they are educated opinions that have a ton of case studies to back it up, but at the end of the day, they are still just someone’s opinion on how you should raise your child.  So how do you know what is right?  And why is it that no matter which way you decide to go, someone else is going to be judging you as a bad parent if you are doing a technique or method that is different than theirs.  And when the child grows older and into a young adult, if they turn out to have issues, it always goes back to what decisions we made when it was an infant and the judging and blame continue.

So while I would like to say that I am able to just toss out these books and say screw it, I’ll just wing it and hope for the best, unfortunately I can’t.  I will continue to read these books, pick out the one that seems to make the most sense to me and still screw up my child in the process.  No matter what method I choose, whether it is on the clock feeding, cry it out methods or something else, my 20 something year old child will end up in a therapist office complaining about their relationship issues and the finger will be pointed right back to me.

In a few days we find out what we are having!

But as of right now, BB and I have an amazing relationship.  BB depends on me, goes everywhere I go and loves the same foods I do.  Maybe this is why some women LOVE to be pregnant.  It is that perfect time where you are completely in control of the unflawed life growing inside you.  I have officially hit the half-way point in the pregnancy which is both scary and exciting.  I can’t believe how quickly it has gone by.  BB is now the size of a mango and has developed its 5 senses.  Next week we will find out if BB is a boy or a girl and I CANNOT WAIT!  I am still feeling great as far as my energy level is concerned, but have determined that I will get every possible pregnancy symptom possible.  A new one pops up on a weekly basis. 

This week’s was extra special.  I was at work late in the day when I started to feel unbelievable pain.  My abdomen started to have severe shooting pains; I had sharp pains up and down my right side which lead to shoulder pain and a little bit of numbness in my arm.  My chest was extremely tight making it painful to breath.  I thought for sure, either something is seriously wrong with the baby or I’m having a heart attack.  I left the office early to head to the Dr.  On the way I called Logan in a panic to get the phone number so I could call them.  When I got through to the nurse and described my symptoms she immediately dismissed it.  She said it was gas.  GAS?!  Didn’t you hear me about the numbness and the pain in my shoulder?  ‘Yes ma’am, gas can cause pains even in your shoulder. If it doesn’t go away by tomorrow after taking some gas-x or if the pain gets worse then head to the emergency room.’ 

 

Of course when I got off the phone I called Logan since I’m sure I freaked him out with my hysterical call earlier and he couldn’t help but laugh when I told him what was actually wrong.  The nurse did reassure me that I was not the first woman to call in a panic over this, but that I should be fine.  Other than shame and embarrassment that I am currently feeling, she was right.  I took the medicine and felt relief right away.  One more item I can check off the list as a pregnancy experience.  Thank you once again BB for taking away a little more of mommy’s dignity.  By the time BB arrives, any pride I might still have will be gone and I will be a very humbled woman. 

Week 18 -Flutters

This was another week of firsts for me.  I am finally feeling the baby moving for the first time.  What an incredible feeling this is.  I can see why people have such a hard time explaining what ‘flutters’ are.  It isn’t a kick.  It isn’t something that is overly obvious.  It is very subtle, but it doesn’t feel like anything else that would normally be happening in your belly.  I was worried that I’ve been having baby flutters for weeks now but couldn’t tell if it was a stomach cramp, gas or the baby.  But once I actually felt it, I knew that is what it had to be.

When I felt it for the first time, I was instantly overjoyed not just by being able to feel it, but because of where I was and who I was with when it happened.  Logan and I took Friday off from work so we could spend a long weekend with our friends in Big Canoe.  We wanted to do a little mini vaca to experience what autumn should feel like when you live anywhere other than Florida, see some mountains and relax by a fire with friends.  So Friday afternoon when I got the sensation for the first time, I was outside at a winery enjoying amazing views while my friends sipped on wine instead of at my cubical staring at a computer monitor.  I spent the rest of the day truly glowing with a grin from ear to ear just thinking about our precious BB. 

So how would I describe the flutter feeling?  First, it is a feeling that you get very low in your abdomen.  Well below your belly button just around your pelvic bone.  That was my first indication that it wasn’t gas that you would normally feel much higher in your stomach.  The sensation comes in waves.  It is similar to that tingling feeling that you get when you kiss someone you like for the first time or when you are about to go down a roller coaster.  That tingling turns into a series of subtle movement that runs across very quickly.  I imagine it like the bubbles that you see floating up in a champagne flute.  They are tiny and fast.  Some people describe it as a fish swimming around in the bag when you pick it up from a pet store.  I wouldn’t say it feels like that.  But I could say it feels a little bit like when you throw your line in the water and a fish is nibbling on your bait but hasn’t actually hooked on yet.  No matter how you would describe it – popcorn popping, butterflies, or goldfish – it is an experience that you don’t understand until you have it. 

Now that I do, I don’t want it to go away.  It gives me a connection to BB that I haven’t had yet.  I can’t wait until it turns into actual kicks so that Logan can experience this too.  I am amazing by him on a daily basis.  Each step that we have taken as a couple has brought us closer.  I keep thinking, there is no way I can love this man more than I do right now.  But when he started kissing and talking to my belly and reading the baby books, he took it to a whole new level.  The idea of him being a father gives me a new love and respect for him that I didn’t have before and it absolutely melts my heart.  This baby is going to be here before we know it and I really need to do everything I can to take all of this in.

Week 17 - Let the Nesting Begin!

Something happened inside me this week that was as quick as flipping on a light switch.  I wanted to start getting the house ready for the baby, and I wanted it to happen now.  The mental check list began as I thought about all the things we wanted to get for the house.  Most people would think, you just need to get a crib and changing table and call it a day.  However, we have had a friend living with us for the past 7 months and her furniture was filling in the spaces where we were lacking.  We purchased a home that we could ‘grow’ into overtime.  Well, I’m ready to have a growth spurt.

 

My Living Room 'Inspiration' Photo

Since we don’t know the gender yet, I thought the first place I would start is the living room.  I spent each night after work visiting every website imaginable looking for living room ideas.  For the past 11 years Logan and I have enjoyed using hand me downs from relatives.  I call our family room furniture the ‘divorce collection’ because when my parents ended their marriage I am pretty sure my dad just went to rooms to go, asked for the new bachelor special and they wrapped it up.  While there is nothing wrong with second hand furniture and it has been a life saver when we were living paycheck to paycheck, I was excited to pick something out that is actually my style and taste.

 

Then Logan threw me a curve ball.  After spending endless hours crafting my dream living room, Logan shared with me that he has to have a recliner.  He was putting his foot down.  He will have a chair that he can kick up his feet in, lounge back and preferably also have a cup holder to keep his beer in.  Lazy Boy wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my first decorated adult living space.  Back to the drawing board.  As luck would have it, Pottery Barn must have known that this problem arises in marriages because they make the perfect compromise couch.  It had the fabric and color that I was looking for but also happens to have a built in recliner that is discrete enough for me, but functional for Logan.  Because I ordered it online, I haven’t sat in it yet.  Fingers crossed that it is as comfy as it looks.

 

The compromise couch

 

After the couch purchase was done, I became anxious to get everything else on order.  I’d love to have the living room fully functional before the end of November so that the rest of the year can be focused on BB’s space.  Logan, being the amazing husband that he is, could sense my anxiety.  (I’m sure I was laying it on pretty thick.)  We had a free Saturday and he suggested that we spend the day furniture shopping.  What?  My husband who hates everything about malls and crowded spaces, and has never spent time in a furniture store was willingly giving up a lazy Saturday afternoon of college football to go to thrift stores, vintage shops and furniture stores.  Man did he ever earn some serious bonus points with that gesture.  He let me drag him to 9 different shops, and honestly seemed like he was enjoying it.  No complaining or snide comments, just genuine enthusiasm for our new room. 

 

The coolest place that we visited was a place called the Brocante Market in St. Pete.  It is open the first weekend of every month and vendors from all over bring their cool furniture, décor, books, etc.  We got so many great finds there for our new living space.  I was going to share individual photos of everything we got there but instead, once the living room is done, I’ll show some before and after shots.  I’m a fan of those. 

 

As far as how BB and I are feeling, We are still feeling great!  BB has grown to the size of a sweet potato and weighs about the same as a bar of soap.  I am so excited that in a few weeks we find out if BB is a little boy or girl and am having fun dreaming about our new lifestyle.  Other than some normal symptoms of daily heartburn and some new acne that I heard hormones cause, everything is perfect. 

Week 16 - Feeling awesome

I love looking at my ‘bump’ app on a daily basis.  It always has fun facts on it about the baby’s development and gives little tips along the way.  My favorite day to look is on Wednesday because that is when I get to see how big the baby is going to be for the upcoming week.  Normally it is cute fruits and veggies like the sweet pea week or my little blueberry.  This week was a little disappointing.  BB is the size of an onion.  Really?  Onion is the only thing you can come up with.  Sure, I love some caramelized onions on just about anything but it isn’t exactly a ‘cute’ fruit or veggie.

When you think of your sweet newborn you want to think of all things perfect and pure.  The baby smell after they take their bath and have their footie pajamas on with little monkeys on the feet.  Or the peaceful way they look when they are sleeping.  That is what my mind drifts to when I see it is the size of a Georgia Peach.  But for some reason, onion doesn’t take me there.  It takes me to waking up in the middle of the night to a screaming baby or the joy of changing a poopy diaper.  So… I’m changing it.  The heck with you bump app.  So I am going with a large Pink Lady Apple.  Wait… if I end up having a boy, maybe that isn’t the best selection.  I am going with a large Honeycrisp Apple.  Ah… now I can get back to fantasizing about rocking my sweet, perfect BB to sleep.

 

Week 16 has been awesome.  I had another doctor appointment which always makes me happy because it confirms that there is still something growing inside me.  Since I haven’t gotten to the ‘flutters’ or kicking stage yet, I like having a reminder that I really am pregnant and not bloated.  While I didn’t get to see a sonogram which is a little bit of a bummer, I did get to hear the heartbeat.  I am really tempted to buying my own fetal Doppler.  I could listen to my baby’s heartbeat all night.  Call it hormones, but every time I hear the repetition of the heartbeat my eyes swell with tears and I get a little choked up.  I am making this. 

The only downside was that the doctor did confirm what I already knew was true.  I am gaining weight a little quicker than what they would like to see.  Then she made a little joke about how ice cream isn’t a food group and I couldn’t help but lower my head a little bit in shame since I definitely made myself a milkshake the night before.  Do I get any points for making it with Organic milk with extra Omega 3’s and DHA?  The milkshake is for the baby!  I want it to have healthy brain development. (Totally justified.)

But the good news is that I feel awesome.  I really think the worst is behind me (for now) and I’m taking advantage of it.  I went to the gym 3 times this week and did yoga once.  I’m saying goodbye to the ice cream for now and am going to seriously reduce the extra carbs that I don’t need.  While I will not deny that I have my indulgences, I am proud of how healthy 90% of my diet has been.  I do a smoothie every morning for breakfast, eat a ton of fruits and veggies, and for the most part am sticking to lean proteins.  Here are a few of my favorite recipes that anyone (preggers or not) would enjoy:

 

Tropical Smoothie

1 banana

1 handful of fresh or frozen pineapple

1 handful of frozen mangos

1 carrot or a cup of chopped carrots (I swear you can’t taste it.)

Pack the rest of the blender with raw fresh spinach – roughly 1.5 cups (again you won’t taste it)

Fill with OJ and blend

If you don’t use any frozen fruit then you will want to add ice to make it nice and cold but it is delish!

 

Berry Smoothie

1 banana

1 cup of frozen strawberries

1 handful of frozen blueberries

Lots of raw fresh spinach – 1.5-2 cups

Fill with vanilla almond milk and blend

 

What I love about these is because you are adding raw veggies to it; you are getting all of the nutrients.  Nothing is being stripped like it does when you cook them.  Plus you are getting your day’s serving so if you don’t make the best choices the rest of the day; you at least gave your body what you need.  And the fruit hides the flavor and makes it delicious! 

 

Butternut and Carrot Soup

Ingredients:

2 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 carrots, sliced

3 stalks celery, diced

2 small or one large butternut squash, peeled and chopped

5 cups vegetable broth

2 tbsp chopped fresh sage

Cayenne pepper

salt and pepper to taste

 

Preparation:

In a large soup pot, sauté the onion and garlic in olive oil until onions turn soft, about 3 to 5 minutes.

Add the carrots and celery and cook for another 3 to 5 minutes.

Add the squash and stir just to coat, then add the vegetable broth and sage. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a slow simmer. Allow to cook for at least 25 minutes, or until squash is soft.

Add a touch of cayenne pepper and a little salt and pepper to taste

Puree the soup in a food processor or blender.

I ate this for 5 meals in one week and already want to make it again!  It tastes like autumn in a bowl.