Week 20 - The week we found out that BB is a....

Ever since the day I announced to the world that Logan and I were expecting a baby, the big question that has been asked is if we know if it is a boy or a girl.  I don’t know if it is because people really are curious or if that changes their opinion on how excited they are for the pregnancy, or if it is just something people say.  Just like when you get engaged and people immediately ask, ‘so when is the big day?’  If people were smart enough to know that we wouldn’t know the sex yet, then the next logical question was, ‘so are you going to find out the sex?’  My answer was always the quick Heck Ya we are!  I don’t want a room full of green and yellow onesies.  (Although, that isn’t a bad color combo for my beloved Bulls.)  But then my response is often followed by, oh so you don’t want it to be a surprise?

What do you mean I don’t want it to be a surprise?  Is the only time I can be surprised is when I’m in miserable labor pains to find out what it was all for?  Can’t someone be just as surprised in the sonogram room when you are seeing for the first time what is happening between those baby legs?  I thought it was going to be a surprise either now or later, so what’s the harm in knowing it now?  I can start planning out the nursery, picking out cute outfits and most importantly what we are going to name BB.  Although, BB is growing on me quite a bit and we’ve considered just picking a B name for boy or girl so we can stick to the nickname.

So the time has come, and we are finally going to meet our sweet Baby Boy or Girl.  Leading up to the appointment felt like Christmas did when I was a kid.  The hours couldn’t go by fast enough before our appointment.  Not because I couldn’t wait to start picking out the theme of the room, but more importantly, to ease the anxiety I have been having on whether or not BB is growing at a healthy rate.  I feel like I’ve been in the dark for months.  I get blood work done each week and give urine samples but I never hear anything back.  I know the saying goes no news is good news, but give me something!  If they told me that if I ate 2 bananas a day that my baby would be even healthier then I would add 2 bananas to my diet ASAP.  Luckily, my nerves were calmed at my appointment when everything was measuring right on track; our sweet baby looked great and the dr. didn’t have any concerns with me.  Well… one concern.  My weight.  Still.  I’ve only gained 2 lbs since the last visit which is a perfect, however, because I gained so much in the first trimester, I am still 4 lbs over what they want.  Note to self:  STOP SKIPPING THE GYM. 

Now for the big question to be answered.  Is BB a future dancer like mom or baseball player like dad?  (Don’t overthink my stereotyping here.  He/She can do whatever activities they want.)  Logan and I discussed how and when we wanted to find out the news.  We decided we didn’t want to know at the dr. office.  We wanted it to be a private moment that we could share alone.  So we had the tech write down the sex in an envelope for us to open up later.  We headed home from our appointment glowing with excitement that our sweet baby is HEALTHY.  We went out to our patio with Mallory and had a fun discussion about either result and what that meant to us.  We also just talked about how excited we are about this big change in our life.  Then we opened the envelope for the big reveal.  Inside was a sonogram photo with one word written on it.  GIRL.  We are having a sweet little baby girl!

I would love to say that I was in shock when I saw it, but I wasn’t.  I have had this intuition since the day I found out that I was pregnant that I was going to have a little girl.  That with every person who sees me looks at my belly and says, oh yea, you are having a girl.  Even the stranger behind the paint counter at Home Depot suspected that we were having a girl.  I also did all the little wives tales ‘tests’ to see what the sex of your baby will be.  8 out of 10 pointed to GIRL.  Logan was doomed from the start.  He didn’t stand a chance against the fact that there would be a daddy’s little girl to wrap him around her finger.  No more mysteries, no more calling my baby ‘it.’  SHE is doing great and I love talking to HER.  So now the fun really can begin.  I can start thinking names and nursery for our little princess.  I cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. 

Week 19 – Another pregnancy symptom checked off the list.

So… babies.  They seem to be a lot of work.  (I know, mind blown.)  I’ve been trying to read various baby books each night to help me get mentally prepared for what is going to come.  The one I am reading now, Babywise, is not putting me at ease.  There was a 20 page chapter dedicated to breast feeding.  It covered techniques in holding the baby, latching, how much to feed each time, how often to feed, and the list goes on.  At the end of the chapter I was more confused than when I started.  Why is it that something that is so natural and what we were put on this earth to do, is so complicated? 

I mean, look at any other mammal.  They don’t read books or have coaches telling them what to do.  A male comes up when she’s not expecting it, knocks her up then a few months later she finds a quiet place in the woods gives birth and goes straight into feeding.  No big deal.  It’s just what they do.  Babies grow up just fine (assuming nothing bigger than it kills it.)  They don’t worry about allergies or if it has been 2 hours on the dot since it’s last feeding.  So it makes me wonder, in our age of technology and endless studies, have we made it all over complicated?

 

The other thing that I struggle with is that all of these books are based on opinions.  Sure, they are educated opinions that have a ton of case studies to back it up, but at the end of the day, they are still just someone’s opinion on how you should raise your child.  So how do you know what is right?  And why is it that no matter which way you decide to go, someone else is going to be judging you as a bad parent if you are doing a technique or method that is different than theirs.  And when the child grows older and into a young adult, if they turn out to have issues, it always goes back to what decisions we made when it was an infant and the judging and blame continue.

So while I would like to say that I am able to just toss out these books and say screw it, I’ll just wing it and hope for the best, unfortunately I can’t.  I will continue to read these books, pick out the one that seems to make the most sense to me and still screw up my child in the process.  No matter what method I choose, whether it is on the clock feeding, cry it out methods or something else, my 20 something year old child will end up in a therapist office complaining about their relationship issues and the finger will be pointed right back to me.

In a few days we find out what we are having!

But as of right now, BB and I have an amazing relationship.  BB depends on me, goes everywhere I go and loves the same foods I do.  Maybe this is why some women LOVE to be pregnant.  It is that perfect time where you are completely in control of the unflawed life growing inside you.  I have officially hit the half-way point in the pregnancy which is both scary and exciting.  I can’t believe how quickly it has gone by.  BB is now the size of a mango and has developed its 5 senses.  Next week we will find out if BB is a boy or a girl and I CANNOT WAIT!  I am still feeling great as far as my energy level is concerned, but have determined that I will get every possible pregnancy symptom possible.  A new one pops up on a weekly basis. 

This week’s was extra special.  I was at work late in the day when I started to feel unbelievable pain.  My abdomen started to have severe shooting pains; I had sharp pains up and down my right side which lead to shoulder pain and a little bit of numbness in my arm.  My chest was extremely tight making it painful to breath.  I thought for sure, either something is seriously wrong with the baby or I’m having a heart attack.  I left the office early to head to the Dr.  On the way I called Logan in a panic to get the phone number so I could call them.  When I got through to the nurse and described my symptoms she immediately dismissed it.  She said it was gas.  GAS?!  Didn’t you hear me about the numbness and the pain in my shoulder?  ‘Yes ma’am, gas can cause pains even in your shoulder. If it doesn’t go away by tomorrow after taking some gas-x or if the pain gets worse then head to the emergency room.’ 

 

Of course when I got off the phone I called Logan since I’m sure I freaked him out with my hysterical call earlier and he couldn’t help but laugh when I told him what was actually wrong.  The nurse did reassure me that I was not the first woman to call in a panic over this, but that I should be fine.  Other than shame and embarrassment that I am currently feeling, she was right.  I took the medicine and felt relief right away.  One more item I can check off the list as a pregnancy experience.  Thank you once again BB for taking away a little more of mommy’s dignity.  By the time BB arrives, any pride I might still have will be gone and I will be a very humbled woman. 

Week 18 -Flutters

This was another week of firsts for me.  I am finally feeling the baby moving for the first time.  What an incredible feeling this is.  I can see why people have such a hard time explaining what ‘flutters’ are.  It isn’t a kick.  It isn’t something that is overly obvious.  It is very subtle, but it doesn’t feel like anything else that would normally be happening in your belly.  I was worried that I’ve been having baby flutters for weeks now but couldn’t tell if it was a stomach cramp, gas or the baby.  But once I actually felt it, I knew that is what it had to be.

When I felt it for the first time, I was instantly overjoyed not just by being able to feel it, but because of where I was and who I was with when it happened.  Logan and I took Friday off from work so we could spend a long weekend with our friends in Big Canoe.  We wanted to do a little mini vaca to experience what autumn should feel like when you live anywhere other than Florida, see some mountains and relax by a fire with friends.  So Friday afternoon when I got the sensation for the first time, I was outside at a winery enjoying amazing views while my friends sipped on wine instead of at my cubical staring at a computer monitor.  I spent the rest of the day truly glowing with a grin from ear to ear just thinking about our precious BB. 

So how would I describe the flutter feeling?  First, it is a feeling that you get very low in your abdomen.  Well below your belly button just around your pelvic bone.  That was my first indication that it wasn’t gas that you would normally feel much higher in your stomach.  The sensation comes in waves.  It is similar to that tingling feeling that you get when you kiss someone you like for the first time or when you are about to go down a roller coaster.  That tingling turns into a series of subtle movement that runs across very quickly.  I imagine it like the bubbles that you see floating up in a champagne flute.  They are tiny and fast.  Some people describe it as a fish swimming around in the bag when you pick it up from a pet store.  I wouldn’t say it feels like that.  But I could say it feels a little bit like when you throw your line in the water and a fish is nibbling on your bait but hasn’t actually hooked on yet.  No matter how you would describe it – popcorn popping, butterflies, or goldfish – it is an experience that you don’t understand until you have it. 

Now that I do, I don’t want it to go away.  It gives me a connection to BB that I haven’t had yet.  I can’t wait until it turns into actual kicks so that Logan can experience this too.  I am amazing by him on a daily basis.  Each step that we have taken as a couple has brought us closer.  I keep thinking, there is no way I can love this man more than I do right now.  But when he started kissing and talking to my belly and reading the baby books, he took it to a whole new level.  The idea of him being a father gives me a new love and respect for him that I didn’t have before and it absolutely melts my heart.  This baby is going to be here before we know it and I really need to do everything I can to take all of this in.

Week 17 - Let the Nesting Begin!

Something happened inside me this week that was as quick as flipping on a light switch.  I wanted to start getting the house ready for the baby, and I wanted it to happen now.  The mental check list began as I thought about all the things we wanted to get for the house.  Most people would think, you just need to get a crib and changing table and call it a day.  However, we have had a friend living with us for the past 7 months and her furniture was filling in the spaces where we were lacking.  We purchased a home that we could ‘grow’ into overtime.  Well, I’m ready to have a growth spurt.

 

My Living Room 'Inspiration' Photo

Since we don’t know the gender yet, I thought the first place I would start is the living room.  I spent each night after work visiting every website imaginable looking for living room ideas.  For the past 11 years Logan and I have enjoyed using hand me downs from relatives.  I call our family room furniture the ‘divorce collection’ because when my parents ended their marriage I am pretty sure my dad just went to rooms to go, asked for the new bachelor special and they wrapped it up.  While there is nothing wrong with second hand furniture and it has been a life saver when we were living paycheck to paycheck, I was excited to pick something out that is actually my style and taste.

 

Then Logan threw me a curve ball.  After spending endless hours crafting my dream living room, Logan shared with me that he has to have a recliner.  He was putting his foot down.  He will have a chair that he can kick up his feet in, lounge back and preferably also have a cup holder to keep his beer in.  Lazy Boy wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my first decorated adult living space.  Back to the drawing board.  As luck would have it, Pottery Barn must have known that this problem arises in marriages because they make the perfect compromise couch.  It had the fabric and color that I was looking for but also happens to have a built in recliner that is discrete enough for me, but functional for Logan.  Because I ordered it online, I haven’t sat in it yet.  Fingers crossed that it is as comfy as it looks.

 

The compromise couch

 

After the couch purchase was done, I became anxious to get everything else on order.  I’d love to have the living room fully functional before the end of November so that the rest of the year can be focused on BB’s space.  Logan, being the amazing husband that he is, could sense my anxiety.  (I’m sure I was laying it on pretty thick.)  We had a free Saturday and he suggested that we spend the day furniture shopping.  What?  My husband who hates everything about malls and crowded spaces, and has never spent time in a furniture store was willingly giving up a lazy Saturday afternoon of college football to go to thrift stores, vintage shops and furniture stores.  Man did he ever earn some serious bonus points with that gesture.  He let me drag him to 9 different shops, and honestly seemed like he was enjoying it.  No complaining or snide comments, just genuine enthusiasm for our new room. 

 

The coolest place that we visited was a place called the Brocante Market in St. Pete.  It is open the first weekend of every month and vendors from all over bring their cool furniture, décor, books, etc.  We got so many great finds there for our new living space.  I was going to share individual photos of everything we got there but instead, once the living room is done, I’ll show some before and after shots.  I’m a fan of those. 

 

As far as how BB and I are feeling, We are still feeling great!  BB has grown to the size of a sweet potato and weighs about the same as a bar of soap.  I am so excited that in a few weeks we find out if BB is a little boy or girl and am having fun dreaming about our new lifestyle.  Other than some normal symptoms of daily heartburn and some new acne that I heard hormones cause, everything is perfect. 

Week 16 - Feeling awesome

I love looking at my ‘bump’ app on a daily basis.  It always has fun facts on it about the baby’s development and gives little tips along the way.  My favorite day to look is on Wednesday because that is when I get to see how big the baby is going to be for the upcoming week.  Normally it is cute fruits and veggies like the sweet pea week or my little blueberry.  This week was a little disappointing.  BB is the size of an onion.  Really?  Onion is the only thing you can come up with.  Sure, I love some caramelized onions on just about anything but it isn’t exactly a ‘cute’ fruit or veggie.

When you think of your sweet newborn you want to think of all things perfect and pure.  The baby smell after they take their bath and have their footie pajamas on with little monkeys on the feet.  Or the peaceful way they look when they are sleeping.  That is what my mind drifts to when I see it is the size of a Georgia Peach.  But for some reason, onion doesn’t take me there.  It takes me to waking up in the middle of the night to a screaming baby or the joy of changing a poopy diaper.  So… I’m changing it.  The heck with you bump app.  So I am going with a large Pink Lady Apple.  Wait… if I end up having a boy, maybe that isn’t the best selection.  I am going with a large Honeycrisp Apple.  Ah… now I can get back to fantasizing about rocking my sweet, perfect BB to sleep.

 

Week 16 has been awesome.  I had another doctor appointment which always makes me happy because it confirms that there is still something growing inside me.  Since I haven’t gotten to the ‘flutters’ or kicking stage yet, I like having a reminder that I really am pregnant and not bloated.  While I didn’t get to see a sonogram which is a little bit of a bummer, I did get to hear the heartbeat.  I am really tempted to buying my own fetal Doppler.  I could listen to my baby’s heartbeat all night.  Call it hormones, but every time I hear the repetition of the heartbeat my eyes swell with tears and I get a little choked up.  I am making this. 

The only downside was that the doctor did confirm what I already knew was true.  I am gaining weight a little quicker than what they would like to see.  Then she made a little joke about how ice cream isn’t a food group and I couldn’t help but lower my head a little bit in shame since I definitely made myself a milkshake the night before.  Do I get any points for making it with Organic milk with extra Omega 3’s and DHA?  The milkshake is for the baby!  I want it to have healthy brain development. (Totally justified.)

But the good news is that I feel awesome.  I really think the worst is behind me (for now) and I’m taking advantage of it.  I went to the gym 3 times this week and did yoga once.  I’m saying goodbye to the ice cream for now and am going to seriously reduce the extra carbs that I don’t need.  While I will not deny that I have my indulgences, I am proud of how healthy 90% of my diet has been.  I do a smoothie every morning for breakfast, eat a ton of fruits and veggies, and for the most part am sticking to lean proteins.  Here are a few of my favorite recipes that anyone (preggers or not) would enjoy:

 

Tropical Smoothie

1 banana

1 handful of fresh or frozen pineapple

1 handful of frozen mangos

1 carrot or a cup of chopped carrots (I swear you can’t taste it.)

Pack the rest of the blender with raw fresh spinach – roughly 1.5 cups (again you won’t taste it)

Fill with OJ and blend

If you don’t use any frozen fruit then you will want to add ice to make it nice and cold but it is delish!

 

Berry Smoothie

1 banana

1 cup of frozen strawberries

1 handful of frozen blueberries

Lots of raw fresh spinach – 1.5-2 cups

Fill with vanilla almond milk and blend

 

What I love about these is because you are adding raw veggies to it; you are getting all of the nutrients.  Nothing is being stripped like it does when you cook them.  Plus you are getting your day’s serving so if you don’t make the best choices the rest of the day; you at least gave your body what you need.  And the fruit hides the flavor and makes it delicious! 

 

Butternut and Carrot Soup

Ingredients:

2 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 carrots, sliced

3 stalks celery, diced

2 small or one large butternut squash, peeled and chopped

5 cups vegetable broth

2 tbsp chopped fresh sage

Cayenne pepper

salt and pepper to taste

 

Preparation:

In a large soup pot, sauté the onion and garlic in olive oil until onions turn soft, about 3 to 5 minutes.

Add the carrots and celery and cook for another 3 to 5 minutes.

Add the squash and stir just to coat, then add the vegetable broth and sage. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a slow simmer. Allow to cook for at least 25 minutes, or until squash is soft.

Add a touch of cayenne pepper and a little salt and pepper to taste

Puree the soup in a food processor or blender.

I ate this for 5 meals in one week and already want to make it again!  It tastes like autumn in a bowl.